All This Time
by drdavidfan
Summary: This is a love story about two people despite their ages and also a current/recent pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was October 28, the day his daughter died. _Who would have thought tornadoes would ravish this town?_ He had to laugh at that fact and the fact that the Red Cross had designated him to help out here, of all places with the disaster victims. He gets here and starts triaging victims in the ER unbeknownst to him that his daughter lay in a hospital bed dying just a few floors above. Joe Martin had been walking through the ER and checking on supplies and patients when he caught a glimpse of David. He had walked over and stopped David from checking on a patient.

"Hey Joe if you are going to tell me to get the hell out of here, let me just tell you that the Red Cross sent me here and that…"

Joe cut him off "David there is something you need to know." He said with an unhappy frown on his face wishing to not have to be the bearer of this news, even to David.

"What Joe, what is it?" he asked not liking the doctors tone or demeanor.

"It's Babe. She was injured by the tornadoes and she is upstairs in ICU." He said looking at David's already pained face. He grabbed his arm as he went to race to her. "David, it's not looking good."

"Thanks Joe." He said as he went racing to the elevator. He hit the button several times but it was taking too long, well more than five seconds so he ran up the stairs instead. After climbing the flights of stairs to the ICU floor, he stopped quick at the nurses' station to find her location. "What room is Babe Chandler in?" he almost shouted at the nurse.

"Room 215" The nurse replied with a point, not even bothering to look at him.

He was almost sprinting down the halls to her room dreading what he would find. _It doesn't look good, the face Joe had on when he said those words. It can't be good. _He finally found the room, the door open and inside he found JR, Krystal, Adam and Tad surrounding what looked like Babe lying on the bed. Krystal and JR were crying as they hugged her, _her body. No she couldn't be. He didn't even get to say goodbye._

It was then that Krystal turned to leave the room and saw him standing there. "David, David she's gone." Krystal said tears pouring from her eyes as she walked toward him. She walked to him and put her arms around him just crying and laying her head against his chest. He didn't know what to do he couldn't think and he just put his arms around her and held her there. _She's dead. Babe's Dead. _This was the only thing he could hear, repeating in his head.

She opened her eyes and felt an immense pain in her left side. She tried to sit up but the pain came with every little movement. _What the hell happened! I remember I went to work at Fusion and I was doing some paperwork for Kendall and then I wake up here? In pain, in the dark. _It was dark and cold and she could see the dark skies from where she was. Next thing she knew there were rescue personnel and firefighters placing her on a backboard with a c-collar and asking questions regarding her current situation.

It wasn't much longer that she was in an ambulance and headed for the hospital. She still didn't know what had happened and why she was in pain. Finally she asked the EMT what had happened and he told her about the tornadoes and the state of the city. _Oh my god. Tornadoes? They destroyed Pine Valley? _She thought disbelievingly as he told her. In a couple minutes she was arriving in the ER at PVH. They placed her in the crowded waiting room with maybe a hundred other injured while doctors scattered throughout trying to treat as many as quickly as possible.

He was back down in the ER, trying to forget about it, that his daughter had just died. He thought maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad if he saved a few lives tonight. He worked on patient after patient, cuts and scrapes and broken bones. He had seen the ambulance bring in a young woman and leave her against a wall. He thought of Babe immediately and went to go see if he could help her. He walked up to her and saw her face blank, her lips blue. _She isn't breathing_. _How could they just leave a critical patient here?_ He quickly started assessing her condition checking her pulse and airway. She had a pulse but wasn't breathing so he started mouth to mouth, although highly unpracticed in a hospital but it would be impossible to find a bag valve mask in the utter chaos that was the ER. He yelled for a nurse between breaths and they moved her into a trauma room. After a few more breaths she started breathing again and he listened with his stethoscope and determining she had a collapsed left lung, most likely from the broken ribs from the evident bruising there. He put in a chest tube to help her breath and further assessed her injuries. He looked at her face again now that she was coming to. _Where have I seen this girl before? _He asked himself. _She looks so familiar. Did I drug her once? _He thought with a laugh.

"What is your name hun?" the nurse asked when she woke up.

"Aman, … Amanda Dillon" Amanda replied in pain and slightly disoriented.

_Amanda Dillon? She is that young girl who's mother kidnapped my daughter, the young girl I gave truth serum. Wow she has grown into a beautiful young woman. _He thought even though she was covered in rubble and laying on a gurney.

_What the hell David! She is a patient why the hell are you looking at her like that?_ He said to himself realizing he had a stupid grin on his face.

"Amanda? Can you tell me where it hurts?" He asked her back in doctor mode.

"My, my chest and my left leg it hurts." She murmured back to him.

"It's going to be okay Amanda. You have some broken ribs that punctured your lung and a broken femur in your left leg. Nothing too serious to worry about sweetie you'll be fine, I promise."

She finally was able to focus on the doctor or man that was talking to her. _Oh my god is that who I think it is? It can't be him he left town two years ago. But he looks just like Babe's dad, David Hayward!_ "Are you David Hayward?" She asked wondering if he heard her.

"Yes I am. Do you remember me?" He asked surprised she remembered who he was from two years ago. _I mean I did drug her. I am sure she has nightmares about me. No wonder she remembers who I am!_

"Yeah I do. You are Babe's dad." She said waiting for his response but noticing with her words his face fell and it looked as though he were about to cry. "Did I say something wrong? You look upset."

"You are close with Babe aren't you?" He asked making sure as not to break the news to harsh if she was close with his late daughter.

"Yeah Babe and I are best friends. Why is something wrong with Babe? Is that why look so upset?" She said wondering what he was bringing this up for.

"I hate to have to tell you this but Babe… Babe was injured by the tornadoes. She sustained severe crush injuries and internal bleeding." He said taking her hand in his. "Babe died twenty minutes ago." He forced out his eyes watering, trying to hold back the tears.

"What?!! Babe can't be dead .She just can't be. She has Little Adam and JR, Krystal and…and you." Amanda managed to burst out along with tears flowing down her cheeks.

She lay sobbing in front of him and he had no clue how to comfort her. He was grieving for his daughter and she a best friend. "I'm sorry Amanda." The only words he could think of to say.

"Sorry for what? You are the one grieving for your daughter. You have nothing to be sorry for, if anyone should be sorry it's me. I mean my mom kidnapped her and little Adam and almost killed her." She said almost feeling disgusted as though she did it.

"It was your mom, not you. She was sick and she got help. I don't blame you at all now but I know I did at the time and I am sorry for that." He said trying to reassure her placing a hand on the side of her face.

"I know she was, thank you for understanding." She said placing her hand over his.

"Ok I am sending you up to radiology for some X-rays and then a Orthopedic surgeon will come look at your leg. I have some more patients to get to but I will come by later and check on you. We can talk more then, if you'd like?" He asked not sure if she even wanted to talk him again maybe at least as her doctor but not as a confidant.

"Sure I'd like that. It's not like anybody will be visiting me here anyway. I have no one. Babe was really the only person that cared about me." She said tearing up again but quickly wiping them away.

"Ok I'll be back then Amanda and we'll talk." He said almost tearing again as he walked out of the room. _I don't know if I can keep doing this, talking to her about Babe. I mean I was just about to cry and talk about how pissed and upset I was about my daughter being gone to an injured young girl who I am supposed to be treating while tending to tornado victims. I can't lay all this on her, but she was Babe's best friend and she is the closest thing I have left to my daughter except for her son who I will never be allowed to see._

_Amanda! How the hell can you be bawling about Babe to her father of all people? I mean he just lost his daughter and then saves your life and then you go and cry about how you miss his daughter to him! You seriously need to get a hold of yourself!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had been eighteen hours since the tornadoes and the victim flow at the hospital had slowed to just a few per hour. He was tired and still unable to absorb the events that had happened mere hours ago. He kept thinking about Babe and her lying dead on the gurney. He had kissed her on the forehead but had to retreat back down to the ER to 'get his mind off it'. He couldn't keep thinking about her lifeless body, it hurt too much. With every thought of Babe came a thought of Amanda. _Amanda. I can't stop thinking about her. Why the hell not, I keep asking myself! I don't even really know her. _He hadn't see her since he left her room ten hours ago. He had promised her he would be back but he couldn't gather the courage to face her again. It would just bring up more thoughts of Babe and more hurt would come.

Amanda had finally come back from the test's the doctors ordered. _How many pictures could it take to find out what is broken? You would think one picture would show it but I guess not!_ The orthopedist had said she would need surgery to pin the femur together in the next day or so but it would be good as new. The ribs would heal on their own and so would her collapsed lung over time. _But surgery? Really?_ It wasn't that she was afraid to have the surgery, it was the fact that she was going through all this alone. First it was the tornadoes and then she found out Babe had died and now she was stuck in the hospital with no one and she was going to have surgery. She thought about Jake. _I mean we were going out for awhile, maybe I could ask him to help me through this. No I can't do that! He is obsessed with Taylor and is probably with her right now!_ Thatwas the last thought of Jake she allowed herself to have and the next thought she had was of David. _I wonder when David will be back? He said he would come by but it's been hours since he left. He probably realized what a nut job I am. There I go again making it about me when he just lost his daughter! No wonder he hasn't been back I probably remind him of his daughter, I am just a painful reminder. Just face it Mandy you are meant to be alone!_ She lay there thinking these thoughts as she waited out the next couple hours and prepared for the next couple of lonely days in this hospital.

David had finally gained enough courage to go into Amanda's room and check on her. She was surprised when he walked through her door not expecting him at all.

"I told you I would be back." He said forcing a smile on his face while he picked up her chart and trying to focus on her and not the thoughts that were going through his mind.

"I didn't think you would be back, I mean you didn't really have to come by. I know you have more important things to deal with." She said trying to keep away from eye contact.

"You mean Babe?" he replied as he struggled to force out that word without being choked up.

"I know it must be hard for you to still be here and to see me is probably just a painful reminder, so I understand if you just want to look over me and leave."

"No, I think it might help me to help you." He said seeing her face fall as she released the previous words.

"If you think it will help you, I'll do whatever you need me to." She said her face slightly perking up as she realized that maybe she would have someone there for her after all.

"You don't need to do anything but get well. I see you are having surgery on your leg in two days. It looks like Dr. Taglieri is going to put in a few pins in. You are lucky, a break like that can kill you if it severs the artery. It will take some time to heal but eventually you will be as good as new." David said trying to be at least a little reassuring.

"Yeah that's great I will be fine and my best friend is dead leaving her four year old motherless. It should have been me." Amanda said in anger as she began crying. David had moved in sitting next to her on the bed. He cupped her face with his hands and pulled her head up so that their eyes would meet.

"Don't ever wish yourself dead. What happened to Babe was a tragedy but it would be just as big a tragedy if you had died." He said all other thoughts lost to him as he saw this young woman wishing she had taken the place of her best friend. There was so much love in her eyes and lots of pain too. It was exactly how he felt and without even thinking he placed his lips on hers.

One minute she was wishing she could take Babe's place and the next David telling her she should never wish herself dead. The next was different, he was kissing her! She wanted to pull away thinking she didn't even really know this man and he was kissing her. It was her best friend's father and her doctor and it was wrong on so many levels but she just couldn't bring herself to pull away.

It only took a few seconds to register in his head that he had to stop and stop now! What the hell was he thinking! She was his patient and only twenty four and he was basically forcing himself on her. _What the Hell David! You need to get a hold of yourself and stop this before it gets out of hand! You sick bastard._ He quickly pulled back and removing his hands from her. "Oh my god, AmandaI am so sorry! I shouldn't have done that! I will leave now and dismiss myself from your case. I'll understand if you want to press charges but for now I am just going to leave you alone." He said so disappointed in his behavior that all he could do was apologize and get away from her hoping he didn't upset her too much.

_I can't believe he just did that! David Hayward just kissed me and it wasn't sarcastic or demeaning. It was almost a comforting kiss. And I liked it! Amanda what the hell is going on with you?? _ She had no idea what had just happened except for the fact that David Hayward had just kissed her and she didn't mind. _He was obviously upset and wasn't thinking clearly. I mean he is burying his daughter in two days! I doubt he was kissing me because he knew it was me but he was grieving and people do crazy things in grief._

David stood outside the door of Amanda's room lightly beating his head against the wall. He couldn't believe he had just done that. He was and always is professional around patients and he doesn't try making out with them when they are grieving and upset. He obviously needed more time to process Babe's death before he could see Amanda Dillion again otherwise he might do something even more ridiculous and lose his medical license.

Well now she really is alone. Insane mother, dead father, adopted brother who she is estranged and an ex who is obsessed with other woman and a dead best friend. There really is no one left that cares about her. The only person who remotely gives a shit is apparently David in his own twisted way._ I mean he did come to see me again today at least in a professional way. At least he cares somewhat unlike anyone else._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had been four days since the tornadoes had passed through town and Pine Valley was working on rebuilding. It was also the day of Babe's funeral, the day she was laid to rest. It wasn't a real big ceremony but all of her family was in attendance and some of her friends were there too. Not too many people could make it because of the damage from the tornadoes or some of the people who wanted to go were still hospitalized or had loved ones who were. David had decided not to go on account of the many people who hated him and the fact that he wasn't even present in her life the past two years. He decided that he would have some time alone with his daughter after the ceremony. Although he had it planned this way it didn't go according to his plans because someone else had their own plans.

Amanda had had surgery only two days before but she desperately wanted to attend the ceremony for Babe. She lay there for hours trying to think of a person she could call that could take her. She thought of only a couple of people when she realized that none of them would be able to or want to help her out. _Babe is the one who I would call to help me out._ She thought again reminding her of the loss. Her one and only friend is dead and now she can't even go to that friends' funeral! After the hours of thinking of no one that could help she started remembering the kiss again. _David! He can take me! He is definitely going to go to her funeral. I mean he is her father after all._ She realized that David could take her but there was a problem with that theory. He was so upset about the kiss and he hadn't been back to see her since. _David hasn't come by since that kiss and I don't think he can bring himself to come back here. So I have to find a way to get him here. _ She tried to think up ways to get him to come to her room. As she thought about them more ridiculous they sounded until she remembered he was a doctor and that he was temporarily on staff at the hospital. _ I'll just have him paged to my room and ask him!_ Which she thought was her best plan.

He had agreed to work at the hospital for a few days and help out with the tornado victims but assured the hospital he would be leaving soon after Babe's funeral. He decided to leave town again because there was nothing left for him here. Little Adam was his only relative and JR wouldn't allow him to visit him so he might go back to South East Asia and continued Doctors Without Borders or find a Hospital in LA or NY. Somewhere he wouldn't be the town outcast. He was just about to leave the hospital when he got a page to room 355. _Now what? I don't remember having a patient in that room. I guess I should check it out before I leave, I mean what if someone is having a heart attack._ He though with a slight laugh to himself.

He was walking down the hall toward room 355 and was going to stop and ask about the page to a nurse but the floor seemed empty. Instead he continued to the room and peeking his head in the room. He couldn't see much except for patients' feet in a bed. He walked in the room wondering if the page was to this room or if it was a mistake. He walked farther into the room and around the curtain he could see Amanda laying there.

"Amanda? Did you have me paged here?" David asked with a hint of anger in his tone.

"Yes I did. I figured it was the only way to get you here. I haven't seen you since the other day, you know when you kissed me."

"I'm sorry that happened but I can assure you it won't happen again. Now I have to go. I can't be here with you after that and I completely understand if you want to tell the board."

"David wait! I paged you here for a reason and I think you owe it to me to listen."

"Okay if that's what you want."

"I know Babe's funeral is today and I figured you were probably going to be heading there soon."

"Yeah it is today but I wasn't planning on going until after the funeral. I just don't want to start any fights with JR, Adam and Krystal or anyone else who hates me."

"But you are her father and you have every right to be there."

"I am just going to go afterward and have some private time with her. Oh you said you wanted to ask me a question, what was it?"

"Well I really wanted to go to the funeral but I don't have a way to get there. I had no one but babe and now that she…well now I have no one."

"I thought I heard that you and Jake were together. Why don't you ask him to take you?"

"Well we aren't exactly 'together' right now. He is busy chasing some woman name Taylor around."

"I am sorry he couldn't see what he would be losing. That's alright Amanda you can do better than Martin."

"But now that Jake is off playing tag, I have no one. My mother is institutionalized and my father is…and Tim, I haven't seen him in ages. Kendall doesn't really like me either and JR and I are on the outs. I just have no one." She said starting to shed tears one by one.

"I shouldn't be doing this but I guess I can take you. I mean I think that's what you were trying to get at, that you wanted me to take you. I mean I can't even imagine why you'd want to be near me but I guess I am a last resort."

"I just want to say goodbye to Babe and I knew you would be going so I figured I'd give it a try."

" I will go check with Dr. Taglieri on getting you a temporary release and then I'll be back."

"Thanks David. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I think you better keep that comment to yourself. If someone hears that they might think I drugged you." He said with a laugh as he walked out of the room.

She smiled at his comment but started thinking about him and the fact that he was still upset about the kiss he gave her. _I guess I should have said I didn't mind the kiss at all. But then he never meant for it to happen and he is obviously disgusted by it. How could I tell him I wasn't sorry he did it when he didn't do it because he wanted to but because he was upset about his dead daughter? Wow I really need to stop thinking about it after all he is my best friend's father._

As he walked out into the hall to find Dr. Taglieri he thought about the conversation that had just happened and its and what it meant. _Am I really taking Amanda Dillion to my daughters' funeral? First I jump her, now I am carting her around like she my girlfriend. I need to get out of this town before I do something really bad._

It only took a few minutes for David to go find the doctor and he was back shortly to get Amanda and take her to the funeral which was starting in less than a half hour.

"Good news. I convinced Tag to let you out of here for the funeral but he wants you back here within two hours."

"Alright then we should get going. Do you know how to unhook all these things?" She asked referring to the monitors and IV.

"If I can put them on I can take them off."He said moving closer so that he could unhook her.

"Can you get me some clothes from that drawer? I refuse to go in this gown. "

"Yeah no problem, are these ok? He asked as he pulled out a shirt and jeans and lifted them up.

"Well the shirt could work but I don't know how I could get the jeans on." She said as they both were looking down at the cast on her leg.

"I forgot about that. Unless we cut off a pant leg I don't think you can get them on."

"Is there a dress in there?"

"Yeah here it is." He said handing it to her.

"Um David, I need some help putting it on. With my broken ribs and from the tube I had in here it's hard to move my arm."

"Why don't I get a nurse to help you. I'll be right back." He said uncomfortable with what she was asking as he realized from before he had a hard time controlling his emotions.

"It's fine, you're a doctor it's not like you haven't seen this before. I mean you did put that tube in me and I don't think it was with my shirt on."

"I know it's just I think you would be more comfortable with a nurse."

"We're already running late, would you just help me."

"If you're comfortable with it?"

"Yes now let's go." She said demanding he move a little faster.

He tried staying objective, trying to think of her as a patient and he as a doctor as she took off her gown and was wearing only a bra and panties. He took the dress and put her left arm in first and put it over her head as she put her right arm in. He helped her stand as she held on to the chair next to the bed pulling the dress down her body and zipping the back of it up.

"Thank you for helping me David. It wasn't that bad was it?"

"No it wasn't. Ok sit here and I will back with the wheelchair and then we can get out of here.

"We need to get going we have less than twenty minutes." She said looking at her watch.

He left the room and came back with the wheelchair in less than two minutes. He helped her in to it and then rolled her down the hall to the elevator. He helped her to his car and they headed to Babe's funeral and David hoped that he didn't make a mistake in going to the funeral and bringing Amanda with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was a long quiet ride although it only lasted fifteen minutes it seemed longer. Each of them thought about what had happened between the two of them the previous couple days. David still couldn't believe that he had kissed this young girl without warning and on impulse. Something he never does. _I have no idea what it is about this girl. Amanda. He had these feelings about her every time he saw her but the question was why? I never really knew her just as Babe's friend and Janet Dillions' daughter._ He needed to stay away from her and he couldn't wait to attend his daughters' funeral and get out of town away from her.

Amanda sat thinking about hesitant David was when she had him paged. It's like he didn't even want to be near hear. _He can't possibly think I am still mad at him for that kiss? I told him that I understood and forgave him didn't I? I mean didn't he get the picture when I practically begged him to bring to this service today. That I had him paged to even get him there should tell him something!_ She wondered what was going through his head now that he agreed to help her. Was it going to be the last time she saw him or would he want to talk about Babe with her or at least engage in normal human conversations when he ran into her.

They had arrived at the funeral several minutes late. David had helped Amanda out of the car and into the wheelchair. He wheeled her into the vestibule of the chapel and looked in the through the door at they already started service.

"I think maybe we should just wait until after it's over. I don't want to interrupt the ceremony for everyone."

"David I want to be in there sharing in Babe's memories with everyone else."

"Amanda we can just see her and share our memories privately after everyone leaves. I think making a scene isn't the right way to go about it."

"Make a scene? I just want to sneak in the back. No one will even notice."

"You don't think we can't just quietly sit in the back and no one will notice do you?" he half laugh half asked

"Well you better make up your mind fast because if you don't take me in there I am going to roll right through those doors without you!"

"Amanda let's not make a scene. Would you really want to interrupt this? What would Babe want?"

"David, Babe would want us in there not hiding out here."

"Fine I'll take you in but make sure you are quiet."

"Promise." She said raising a hand and putting in his chest.

He opened the door for her as she rolled through the doorway. Krystal was at the pulpit saying some words about Babe as they entered the chapel. He followed her in and guided the door closed behind him but the latch was loud enough that some of the guests turned to see them coming in. The chatter started as soon as the first few guests saw them come in. It didn't take long for JR to burst out with a few choice words for him.

"What the hell are you doing here Hayward? And why are you here with Amanda?" JR said in a raised voice standing up.

"Babe was my daughter. I have every right to be here Junior!" David angrily shouted back trying to keep his calm

"No Hayward your wrong! Babe hated you, now get out! And stay the hell away from Amanda while you're at it." JR spit back.

"Just because Babe married you, doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do Junior. And as far as Amanda is concerned I am just helping her out since no one else could be bothered."

"That's enough!" A louder yell came from the front of the chapel. It was Krystal disappointed in the recent activity. "I can't believe you two are acting like this here and today of all places!"

"I'm sorry Krystal. It's just he shouldn't be here!" JR said almost throwing a tantrum.

"I know you and David don't get along but this is for Babe so behave both of you." Krystal said eyeing both of them.

"I only came here today because Amanda wanted to be here for Babe and no one else bothered to help her out. If she didn't need my help I would have waited until after to come in here."

JR was about to throw out another comment of his when Krystal cut him off. "Okay everyone just take a seat and JR you wanted to say a few words right?" She half asked half told him.

"Yeah I would like to." He said eyeing David as he walked up front and Krystal took her seat. David found a seat in the back next to Amanda.

"When I first met Babe, I knew she was going to be the woman that I'd marry. When we said our vows, I became a husband. And when Little A was born, I became a father. Just one thing I've tried to get right... is how to be a better man, the kind of man that deserved Babe's love. And I only hope that she was as happy as she made me." JR words brought a tear or two to most people's eyes except for David who sat not listening to a single word of his drivel.

Little Adam walked up to meet his father and together they stand next to the casket. "Hey. We have to say goodbye to Mommy. Ok? Your mom... she was an amazing woman. She loved you very much. The kind of love that doesn't go away. It stays right here. Right there, always. Babe, you were more than just the mother of my child. You were the love of my life, the woman of my dreams, and the kind of person that will have my heart forever. Say goodbye." He whispered towards the casket.

"Goodbye, Mom. I love you." Little Adam said not really understanding the fact that she was gone but he knew that's what and everyone else was here to do, say goodbye.

David sat there now in tears as his grandson said goodbye to his mother. _No child should have to bury their mother at four and no parent should ever bury their child especially two children._

Amanda looked over to see David deep in his thoughts and she could see the tears that were falling and she knew what he was thinking, about Babe and Leora and Little Adam. She put her hand on his back and moved it in a soft circular motion as to give him some comfort.

He noticed her hand on his back and wondered if she had noticed his distress or if she was just doing it because she thought he needed it, because he didn't. Should he tell her to stop or let her do what she needed to do? He still didn't know why she was even being nice to him after what he had done to her, two years ago and three days ago. She must be just a kind person and this is what kind person would do for a grieving father. _I guess I wouldn't know kind when I saw it._ He though with a half laugh to himself.

David hadn't even noticed that the service was over and people were leaving. He caught a glimpse of Krystal walking toward him. He wiped his eyes quickly and stood up to meet her.

"David, why do you always have to make a scene? At our daughter's funeral at that."

David was going to have words with her until Amanda spoke up before him. "It's not David's fault Krystal. I forced him to bring me here and then help me in here. He didn't want to disturb you all but I wanted to come in and he helped me."

"Amanda you don't need to make excuses for him. I know him better than you do and trust me he isn't as innocent in this as you think. If I were you I would stay as far from this cat as possible" Krystal sassed again eyeing David.

"Krystal you have no idea what you are talking about. I am just helping Amanda out because Babe was her best friend and now she has no one. And you of all people talking about me like that, as I recall you came crying to me when our daughter died and the night we conceived her." He said almost hurt that Krystal could so easily show her hate one minute and the other she is crying to him.

"I think you need to reevaluate your view of David, Krystal. He saved my life minutes after he found out about Babe and now he is the only one who could be bothered to help me. So I suggest you take another look at him before you preach about him being the devil." Amanda threw back at Krystal, pissed that everyone wanted to hate David even though he wasn't an evil SOB like they wanted to believe. Krystal stomped out of the chapel and leaving he and Amanda there.

He sat back down so that he could talk to her face to face. "Thank you for saying that to Krystal, but you don't have to defend me to them. I can handle their words because I am so used to everyone's hate. I think you should be getting back to the hospital before Tag has my head." He said trying to change the subject off of the pine valleyites.

"Yeah I guess we should head back to the hospital before they punish me. Hey..you know I wasn't defending you, I was just telling the truth. You saved my life and sacrificed yourself to bring me here. I know that today was probably hard for you and for me to insist you bring me here, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for loving Babe Amanda. I am glad that you were there for her when I wasn't or couldn't be." He said placing his hand on hers.

"David, I really am grateful that you decided to help me out. You really are a decent person. If only you would show that side of you more often." She finished and moved toward him and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

David was almost shocked at her words and even more shocked at the peck she put on his cheek. "We better get going. I think your injuries are starting to get to you." He said with a small smile on his lips.

"David, I know what I am saying and it is true you just need to tell yourself that. But yes we should get going." She said playfully hitting his arm. He then rolled her out of the chapel the same way they came in and he took her back to the hospital.

He had learned something today. That maybe he did have a nice side again. Tahat maybe it found its way back. He never thought that Amanda would be the one to bring it out or discover it but she did and he was grateful.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It had been two days since the funeral and Amanda was being released from the hospital today. She hadn't seen David since he brought her back to the hospital after the funeral. She had asked some of the nurses if they had seen or knew if Dr. Hayward was working but a nurse told her he didn't work here anymore. He had said that two days ago was his last day and that he was being reassigned to a different area. He had told her he was leaving town in a couple of days but she didn't think he would actually do it or at least say goodbye or something before he left but he hadn't.

His flight was in a few hours and he was packed and heading to the airport in a cab. He was headed to Seattle to help out because there was a doctor's strike at a local hospital. He was anxious to get out of Pine Valley to get away from the town that took most of his family from him. He had thought about Amanda the last two days. He didn't know what it was about her but he couldn't get her out of his head. Maybe it was Babe that that made him think about Amanda. The fact that they were best friends and she was the closest thing to Babe he had left except for Little Adam who he wasn't able to even see.

David had remembered after he had left for the airport that he had left his stethoscope at the hospital. Normally he wouldn't have cared enough to go back and get it but Babe had given that stethoscope to him when he got his medical license back after it was taken away from the Miranda/Adam mess. He had to go back and get it as it was the last thing he had from Babe. He had the driver turn around and drive back to the hospital. When he arrived he got out and went to find his stethoscope which he wasn't exactly sure where he had left it.

Meanwhile Amanda had been discharged and was helped to the entrance in a wheelchair as per hospital rules to find the cab waiting outside. The nurse had opened the door, but the cab driver started yelling to them "I already have a fare!"

"But we called for one for this time about an hour ago." The nurse retorted back to him.

"Sorry ladies but I am not that cab. Speaking of fare here he comes now." He said watching David walk out though the sliding doors. The two women turned around to see him coming out of the doors and he looked up to see them, one in a wheelchair and the other holding onto the cab door.

"David? This is your cab?" Amanda said in shock, since she thought he was already gone.

"Yes it's mine, I was on my way to the airport and I realized I forgot this." He said lifting the stethoscope up so they could see what he was talking about.

"Oh, I see. We thought this was the cab that the hospital called for but apparently they are not here yet." She said trying to hide her happiness that she ran into him despite the awkward circumstance.

"So you've been discharged today then?" He asked her already knowing the answer and thought to himself, _Stupid Question._

"Yes I have finally! I hated my stay here. But now I have to wait for the taxi to get here so I can ditch this joint." She said knowing he would offer her a ride. _Why wouldn't he? I mean he has helped me out so much, he has to offer to let me ride in the cab._

"I have plenty of time to get to the airport. Why don't you share this one with me and I'll help you into your place before I go to the airport. I mean I doubt the cabby will help you in anyway." David offered although he wasn't sure being close to her again was a good idea.

"I don't want to you to miss your flight. I mean I can just hang here until my cab gets here." Amanda said knowing he would refuse to let her wait here when he had already offered to help her.

"Nonsense, you are not going to sit here and wait when there is more than enough room in here for you too." He said as he already had the cabby open the trunk and put her stuff in there.

"Okay but if you are late you can't blame me." She said with a small smile on her face. He shook his head back and forth as to say she was ridiculous if she thought he would. He then picked her up out of the wheelchair and sat her in the back of the cab. He told the driver that they were making a stop at her place and she gave him the address.

"I'm sorry I'm invading your cab. Jake was supposed to bring me home but he got called in for an emergency." Amanda said rolling her eyes.

"Jake?" David asked not all that surprised Jake had something else to do than to help out Amanda. "I thought he was too involved with this Taylor person to bother with you?"

"He was, but Taylor's fiancé came back from the dead and they are back together. Jake came crawling back to me only hours after she dumped him. He said he was wrong to go after Taylor when I needed him too." She said this time staring out the window.

"Of course he was wrong. He is an idiot for leaving you high and dry to 'help out' some other woman. I just have to know why you are taking him back now?" He asked confused but realizing why she would do that.

" I just want someone in my corner. If Jake is willing to be there for me now, I am going to take him up on that offer. At least then I won't be alone." She said tears staring to fall.

"You know that as soon as he finds a new interest he will dump you again for her. I mean he left you for a cripple when you almost died! What does that say for his character?" He said annoyed he was having a conversation about a Martin.

"I know, I know. It's pathetic that I am taking back a loser who just wants to be needed all so I can not feel alone."

"I don't think you are pathetic, just lonely. But you need someone who will be there for you because they love you and want to and not because you are the flavor of the month." He said, the sarcasm falling from his mouth naturally.

"Well I haven't found anyone like that so for now Jake will do."

"You will eventually find that someone, but I doubt that it's Jake Martin."

"I hope I find him soon or I might just stop looking."

"We're here." The cab driver interrupted as the vehicle came to a stop.

"Can you get the crutches for me? I need to start using them and get used to them. I did practice a little before I left the hospital but I'm not the most stable on them."

"You'll be a pro in no time." He said handing them to her and telling the cab driver to wait a few minutes for him and that he would be right back.

"Only six more weeks of them, that's plenty of time to learn." She said with a half laugh as she made her way to the front door of the apartment building.

"It's good there is an elevator in this building. Going up two flights of stairs on crutches would be hell for you." He said as they both went into the elevator, him following her with her things.

He walked her to her door and unlocked it for her as he asked for the keys in the elevator. She walked in and he followed putting her things down inside the doorway and to the side.

"Is there anything else you need before I go?" He asked stalling, not wanting to leave her just yet but didn't want to miss his flight or he might not end up leaving Pine Valley.

"I think I am good for now. Jake will probably come by in a few hours." She said looking around at the mess she came home too. The broken windows that were boarded up from the tornado and some glass the landlord didn't bother cleaning up.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to help clean up a little?" He was again trying to stall.

"That's alright Jake will do it, he owes me anyway. There was something I wanted to ask you but I haven't seen you since the…" She had a hard time finishing her sentence not wanting to say it.

"You mean since the service? What did you want to ask?" He said wondering what she was about to ask him.

"Do you think about her?" She asked knowing he most certainly does.

"Of course I do, every minute of every day. That's why I am leaving, I need to get away from this place." He said trying to hold back the now building tears.

"Do you think leaving Pine Valley will help you forget or just make it easier to move on?"

"It's not that I want to forget its' just this town has taken more people from me than possible to live with and the only chance I have to heal is to get away from here."

"I do hope you find peace where ever you go. I mean everyone here talks about how evil you are and how you deserve to rot in jail. But you have helped me so much the in the past week while everyone else has done nothing. Everyone deserves to have happiness in their life, even you and I hope you find it." She said trying make him feel like someone gives a damn and not as alone as he actually was.

"Thank you for the kind words Amanda but you don't need to act like you think I'm a great person. We both know I am far from it." He said rolling his eyes not even realizing she was telling him the truth. Telling him what she actually felt.

"You can think whatever you want David but I do hope you find peace wherever you go. I know you need to get going so, thank you for everything you did for me. I do appreciate the man you were this week and not the man everyone says you are." She saw his eyes soften as he heard her words. She knew she had finally gotten through to him that she knew what it was like to live like him. To have no one and to feel like you didn't deserve to be happy. She didn't know why she was so interested in helping him, whether it was because he was Babe's father or the fact that had so much in common. He had been there for her when she needed someone and she liked to think she was there for him too.

He could see in her eyes that she could see into his soul and his heart if he had one. She was going through or had gone through a lot of the same things he had. He helped her out of what he thought was an obligation as a doctor and as a parent but that wasn't why he actually did those things. It was because it was the first time in a long time that actually doing something "nice" felt right to him.

They were both too distracted by the thoughts in each of their own heads to realize what they were doing. She stood on one leg, her hands on his chest. He stood with his hands on her hips as if he were holding her in place. They both moved their heads closer to one another and in a matter of seconds their lips met.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

They stood holding each other, lips to lips and hips to hips. It took several seconds to realize what they were doing and for David to pull away.

"I'm sorry, I did it again." He said thinking he should be disgusted with himself but wasn't.

"No David, it wasn't just you this time. I kissed you too." She said hoping that he wouldn't move from his current position.

"This is a mistake Amanda, I screwed up again." He said breaking their contact and sitting her down on her couch.

"It's not David." She said pulling him down on the couch with her, her arms around his neck.

"Amanda we're both not thinking clearly. We're both upset about Babe and you're lonely, hell I'm lonely but I don't think this is what we want." He said taking her arms off from around his neck.

"David do I have to remind you this isn't the first time you kissed me and that I didn't mind it either time? Let's not think about this as something we shouldn't do but as something we obviously both want." She said looking at him eye to eye.

"Again, is this really what we want? I am old enough to be your father, and you just got out of the hospital. I mean you are wearing a cast and I don't want to hurt you." He said trying to think up enough reasons why they shouldn't do this.

"I won't let you hurt me David. Now please just shut up and kiss me again!" She said grabbing his shirt with one hand and pulling him closer to her.

"But…" He tried one last time at delaying the inevitable but she put a finger on his lips to still them. He wanted to say something else but he realized that that's all it would be was a delay, not an end.

She kept her hand gripping his shirt and let her other one move into his hair, so she could push his lips harder against hers.

She was gasping for air against his lips, this was the most intense and god, pleasurable thing she'd ever experienced and with him of all people and they hadn't made it past kissing yet. She parted her lips even further now, and kissed him harder. Faster. More desperate.

After they were done getting dressed Amanda couldn't help but lash out at him for trying to make a hasty exit.

"Amanda, where is this coming from? We both decided that this was a one time thing and that I wasn't even sure we should have done it. You didn't think I was going to stay here and lay with you for the night did you? I mean you told me Jake was going to be here and that the two of you were back together." As he tried helping her with the skirt she was struggling with but she pushed him away.

"I know we didn't just make love that it was just sex, but it just felt like I was some piece of trash you picked up off the street." She said fighting tears as she finally got the skirt where she wanted it.

"Amanda." He said placing his hand on her face, turning her head so that her eyes met his. "I had a great time with you today, but you know I can't stay here with you. I am moving to another state and your boyfriend or whatever you want to call Martin will be here soon. This is goodbye and it has to be this way." He said leaving the room and getting her crutches and bringing them back to her

"I know that this isn't a relationship and there aren't any feelings involved. It's just that you have been there for me and now you are leaving, probably forever."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

David had caught his flight that day and surprisingly the cab had waited the thirty minutes he had been at Amanda's. Seattle Washington was his current home and Seattle Grace Hospital was his current place of work. He had spent five weeks here so far and all but four days had rained. _I didn't think that when they say it rains all the time that they meant almost every day. _It wasn't the worst conditions to live in and the amount of ER patients was relatively low which had surprised him. It didn't help that the less patients he had the more he thought about that day, and her.

The past five weeks had gone by at a snails' pace for Amanda. She and Jake had been back together and were in fact now living with each other. Well the only reason that he moved in with her was because of her injuries and Jake wanted to "take care of her". _If only David was here to help me instead of Jake. I mean Jake didn't want to have anything to do with me when Taylor "needed help"_ was her constant thought. She pretended that she didn't miss David to the point of not mentioning his name out loud since the day he left. Jake moving in wasn't a total loss. She had actually started to begin to enjoy his company and their relationship seemed to be back to where they left off, except for when he chased Taylor and ignored her. That part had been forgotten, at least on his part. She finally had someone that was there for her and it's what she wanted since, forever. Jake's a doctor and he is a genuinely nice guy, not to mention a Martin. She actually thought of him as a step up from Jamie. A man, one who was a doctor not one who thought he was a doctor. For once she felt that like her life was on the path to happiness and not destruction and she liked that.

In the five weeks he had spent in Seattle, he had made maybe seven or eight friends. _Friends_ he thought _I don't usually make friends but the last few places I have worked I made friends._ He thought about the friend thing and determined it to be that it was because nobody in any of these places had known him like the citizens of Pine Valley did. And he decided that instead of calling them friends that he would just call them acquaintances since he wasn't exactly sure as to what constituted as a "friend". Not only had Amanda been on his mind the past few weeks but he couldn't stop thinking about Babe. He thought that since he had spent two years away from her and that he had only known her for a little more than five years that it would be less hard to get past her death than it was for him with Leora. It turns out that it was just as hard and he felt somewhat drawn to Pine Valley, like he belonged there. But it was the last place he wanted to be and he would have to try harder shake off this feeling to go back, he couldn't go back.

Amanda was counting down the hours until she finally got the cast she was wearing removed. Only two more days of cast was needed and some physical therapy and then it would back to normal. _What was normal? _ she thought _would Jake leave because I don't need help anymore or did he want to stay because he loves me, because he wants to be here?_ There were so many questions she had but she was afraid of the answers. She needed to confront Jake, she needed to know what was in store for her.

Jake came out of the bathroom and sat down next to her on the couch. She figured this had to be it, the time is now.

"Jake?" She started "Do you love me?" not knowing what else to say and not going to say 'will you leave me after I don't need you anymore'.

"Wow, Amanda.." he was at a loss for words, she had caught him by surprise with her words.

"It's a yes or no question." She said annoyed at his suddenly speechless form.

"It's not that. It's just you surprised me with the question. It's so random." He said trying to convey his surprise at the question.

"Random? We're together romantically and living together. I thought it was a valid question." She said waiting for his answer and getting ready to start tapping her foot with annoyance.

"Okay Okay. I'm not sure if what I feel for you is love just yet but it's close. I want to be with you and I care for you but I am just not sure that I am "in love" with you. I think that with a little more time it will turn into love and I do want that, with you." He said forcing the words from his heart and out of his mouth.

She hadn't been expecting that. She figured he'd tell her that he will always care for her, that their relationship was nice but he didn't want anything more. But that is not what he said at all.

"How about you Amanda, do you love me? He said now waiting for her response.

"Um, I think it's love. I mean I felt this way with Jamie and now again with you. I mean I haven't ever really loved anyone else except for my mom and dad and Tim so I can't say that it is love for sure." She forced out this time only it isn't what her heart was telling her. It wanted her to say that she wanted to wait, wait to see if David came back and that Jake was a temporary place holder. Something she needed to be happy until that perfect guy came along.

David had been paged to the Chief of Staff's office. For once he could actually say that he like the COS, that he didn't hate his guts and the COS didn't hate his. He knocked on the door and the man yelled what he assumed to be a "come in" so he walked in.

"Have a seat Dr. Hayward." Dr. Shepard said not looking up from the papers on his desk. "I got a call today, from Pine Valley Pennsylvania. Do you know the place?" He asked David still not looking at him.

"Well that depends, did they say something about how awful I am or was it about how brilliant a surgeon I am?" He laughed to himself

"It wasn't about you Dr. Hayward, it was about a patient there. A patient at PVH is a match to heart of a man in coma here." He said this time looking up at David.

"And you want me to remove it for a transplant, for that patient?" He said not quite sure what this and PV had to do with him. Why he needed a special appointment to be asked for something so simple.

"Actually yes, and the fact that the family of the patient in Pine Valley wants you to be the one to do that transplantation." Dr. Shepard said still looking at him.

"May I ask who this patient is?" David asked not knowing who he would know that needed a transplant. _Well besides Palmer_ he thought, _and of course they want me to do it because they need me not because they like me_.

"It's a Kendall Hart Slater." The man said looking for David's reaction

"Kendall? Are sure you heard right?" David asked confused for a moment but remembered hearing about Kendall's coma, from the tornadoes. He had only been there a couple days and was to occupied to remember that. And Erica, Erica must have been the one to suggest I do the surgery.

"If we can get consent, you can do the surgery in the next hour and be in Pennsylvania seven hours from now. Are you on board?"

"Yes I am. I would do anything for the patients' mother and if she wants me to do it than I have no choice. I will get the consent for organ donation, have an OR prepped for me in one hour." David said standing up and getting ready to make a swift exit.

"Dr. Hayward, thank you. I doubt that I will see you back here at this hospital so I guess this is a goodbye as well." He said standing and putting a hand out to offer a handshake.

"Thank you Dr. Shepard for letting me have the pleasure of working at this fine hospital. You were lucky to get me." He said with a smirk on his face knowing that Dr. Shepard himself was the same way.

After he walked out of the office he had to stop and think for a minute. He was forced to back there, the town he couldn't wait to get away from. But he had to do this for Kendall, to hell with his feelings and fears, he was saving a life.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Two weeks had gone by since he had brought the heart to Pine Valley and transplanted it into Kendall Slater. The procedure had gone smoothly and he considered it to be successful, and so far there had been no signs of rejection. Only Kendall's family members were happy to see him back in town. Zach, Erica and even Bianca had been there and they thanked him for saving Kendall. But Jake, Joe, all of the Martins, Chandlers and any other person in Pine Valley were not thrilled with his presence.

Amanda had heard from Jake that David was back in town, since he was always bitching about how Hayward was this and that. She was so glad to hear that he was back in town but she hadn't had the guts to seek him out, to talk to him. She knew he might be leaving again soon and that she needed to talk to him before he left but she didn't know what she would even say to him if she saw him. She was jarred from her thoughts when Jake came up to her, giving her a kiss. "I am heading to the hospital, my shift starts in fifteen minutes."

"Oh okay, so I'll see you tomorrow?" She said glad he would be gone for the night, maybe she could find David.

"Are you feeling ok today? I know you haven't been feeling well the last couple days. I don't have to go. I can get someone to cover me if you want me to stay with you?" He said feeling her for fever.

"I'll be fine Jake. If I feel any worse I'll come by and see you." She said trying to get him to leave, she needed space.

"Ok, but call me if you need anything." He said making his way out the door and pulling it shut behind him.

Jake was so nice, why did she constantly try to push him away. She had been feeling sick the last couple days and Jake had taken care of her and she liked it. She was actually still sick, so nauseous but she wanted more than anything to see David.

David had been staying at the Valley Inn while he was on Kendall's case. He figured he would stay around long enough to discharge her and then, well he didn't know where he would go next. He was heading to the hospital to check on Kendall now. He couldn't wait to get out this place. Not because of the people that hated him, no he didn't mind them talking about him. It was Amanda that he was afraid of, to face her again. He was sure that she could easily convince him to stay and he wasn't sure he could do that. The earlier he had Kendall released the faster he could get out of this town and away from Amanda.

She just continued to feel sick and she was tired, tired of being sick. It had been way too long and she just wanted to feel better and the fact that she knew David was around made it ten times worse. She decided that she would go see Jake at the hospital. Maybe after she felt better she would have the guts to find David and tell him how she felt, maybe.

He had just finished examining Kendall and told her the good news that he thought it was possible that she could go home tomorrow. Both she and her family were glad to hear the good news and it relieved David even more that he was able to say it. After walking out of her room he stood against the wall and thinking to himself _One more day and then I can get the hell out of here._ It hadn't even been five minutes before the one thing he had been dreading happened, Amanda had walked down the hall.

She had stopped at the nurses' desk to ask for Jake, but one of the nurses told her that he was in surgery. She turned around to go to the waiting area when she stopped. He was standing over there, not fifteen from her. This is what she had been waiting for, to see him. It was of course a great time for another wave of nausea to hit as she stumbled toward a chair. He noticed her unease and her sudden loss of balance and made a quick pace over to her.

"Amanda, are you ok?" He said worried about her and her color, which was a pale white.

"Yeah, I just got a bit lightheaded. I have been sick the last couple days. It's nothing." She said needing him to just give her some space, allow her to get her thoughts straight.

"You don't look to good. Are you to see a doctor?" He said again worried for her, but needing to take a step back get a hold of himself. It was easier said than done. The doctor in him just wouldn't let him take that step back he needed, wanted.

"I came here to see Jake. He told me to come by if I felt any worse but the nurse said he was in surgery." She said with an obvious 'I'm trying not to lose my lunch look'.

"Well I still have some privileges here. I can check you out and see what's going on with you. Or I can find you another doctor."

"No, thank you David. I can, I can wait for Jake." She said not wanting to get so close to him, again, not now. Well she had no choice now because she was slipping out of consciousness and into his waiting arms.

"Amanda!" He said a bit of fear in his voice as she collapsed all but into his arms.

She had woken up after a few minutes to find herself lying in a hospital bed. She was hooked to an IV and when she turned to get up or yell at whoever put her here he was sitting there.

"Hey" he said when she looked at him.

"What happened? How did I get in here?" She said confused a little. She wished it was Jake sitting there, it was just awkward sitting there, with him.

"You passed out, fell right into my arms. You were severely dehydrated and one of the doctors is running some tests. How are you feeling now?"

"I feel better, for once. What kind of tests David?" She said wondering what they would be testing for.

"Just routine tests, cell counts and tox screen. It's probably nothing but we like to cover the basis."

"Can you call Jake?" She said, fearing being alone here with him, when the doctor came back.

"I had him paged. He should be here as soon as he is done with the surgery." He said putting a hand on hers sensing she was worried about what the doctor would tell her. _She wants Jake_ he laughed to himself _she must really like him or even in love with him_.

"Thanks David, for being there for me, again."

He was going to respond but there was a knock from the doorway. It was a doctor, a young man, cute she thought. "Ms. Dillion I'm glad to see you are awake. I'm Dr. Carter, Dr. Hayward here told me what happened. We took your vitals and put you on an IV. We also ran some tests. I have the results if you want to go over them." The doctor said looking at David who knew what the man was asking for, privacy.

"Yes, I want to know why I'm sick." She noticed the man eyeing David again. "He can stay, it's fine, I mean he did save my life a couple weeks ago. I feel better knowing that a doctor listen in anyway, so he can tell me what medical jargon I don't understand." She said smiling a bit at David as he looked at her. He moved his hand from on top of hers to lace his fingers in hers, knowing he would be there for her because Jake wasn't.

"If you don't mind him here than I don't. Your test results showed an electrolyte imbalance due to your dehydration which the fluids will correct. But the reason for you're recent illness and nausea is that you're pregnant."

Not one minute after the doctor had given her the news, Jake walked in. "What's going on? What happened?" He said looking at Amanda, David and the doctor.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Amanda is everything OK?" Jake said worried to find her in a hospital bed with a doctor and Hayward. He rushed over to her side, the opposite side of Hayward. "I mean I get paged and the nurses tell me you were in here, I come in and you are in here and it..." He stopped talking noticing their shocked faces. "What am I missing?"

"I, I.." Amanda wasn't sure she could get the words out. _Pregnant? I can't be pregnant! I mean I can be but I was on birth control. Oh Shit! David and I, I wasn't on birth control then but we used protection._ The thoughts in her own head rattled.

"Thank you doctor." David said dismissing the doctor. "I'll give Dr. Banyan a call." He said referring to the OB/GYN. Jake's ears and brain alerting to the name. "You want me to tell him?" He asked Amanda seeing the confusion on her face and her inability to say the words. She nodded. "Jake, Amanda is having a baby, well I guess the two of you are having one." He looked back at Amanda and squeezed her hand and then let go. "We can talk after your appointment, Ok?" He said as she again gave him a nod and he walked out of the room stopping against the wall in the hall.

He just stood there thinking to himself about the past few minutes. _Amanda's pregnant! And I could be the father. But then we only slept together once so…I am sure it's probably Jakes. I mean it's been 7 weeks and it was only once. I need to get out of here, get some air and wait for her appointment to be over._ He needed to clear his head and he had to get out of this place. It was confining and the longer he stayed in there, the more he wanted to go in and see for himself, confront her.

"So we're having a baby?" Jake asked Amanda after David left the room.

"That's what Dr. Carter said, so I guess yes." She said still not being able to wrap her head around this.

"Can I ask what David was doing here?" He said confused about what he had just witnessed.

"Well he stopped me from hitting the floor when I passed out. Then he sat next to me while I was unconscious and sat with me when the doctor gave me the news." Amanda said another blank stare as she thought about what was going to happen.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you babe. But I will be from now on, I promise." He said kissing the top of her head. "So David is making an appointment for a consult with the OB?" Jake asked already knowing the answer but trying to reach her, she seemed deep in thought, far away.

She brushed off her thoughts, at least until after she learned what was going on. "Yeah I'm sure it will be any minute. David doesn't like to wait so I'm sure he told them to fit me in as soon as possible."

"Yeah probably. At least he won't be around much longer." He said with an even bigger smile than the one he was wearing.

"What do you mean?" She said confused how Jake knew this and why David would be leaving.

"Well he is going back to Seattle I think. He is releasing Kendall tomorrow and he is leaving after that." He told her wondering why Amanda was worried what David was doing.

"I can't believe he didn't tell me that." She said not even noticing Jake's face.

"Amanda, why are you so interested in what David is doing?" He asked watching her and waiting for her response.

"He's my friend or at least I like to think he is. I was just surprised to hear that he is leaving again after he just got here." She spit out keeping what she really wanted to say inside.

"Friends huh?" Jake said aloud chuckling at the thought.

"Yes, friends Jake. Never mind, just forget I said anything."

A nurse popped in the room. "Dr. Banyan will be in in a minute."

David had walked block after block, not even knowing which direction he was headed. Where he ended up surprised him. _How did I end up here?_ He concluded that it was his subconscious that led him to her. It was Babe's all to fresh grave that he was standing at. He needed someone to talk to and right now he had no one to talk to except for her. He wasn't sure where to start or what he wanted to say.

He didn't have much time alone with her when Krystal walked up.

"What are you doing here?" Krystal asked, surprised to see him.

"I was sort of lost, I needed to talk to someone and I ended up here." He said with a half laugh

"Yeah she has that power. it draws you in and helps you find your way. I come here every day and I talk to her. I didn't know you were still here." She said to him, both looking at their daughters' grave.

"Well I decided to stay until I discharged Kendall Slater. I think I might go back to Seattle, but I'm not sure yet." He told her, looking back up at her.

"I was wondering how you're doing, you know with her being gone?" Krystal asked him fighting tears.

"You mean, am I crying all the time or I do I just fight off my feelings? Well I miss her, a lot. Do I cry, yes. And Do I have someone that I can talk to about it, I used to." He admitted to Krystal while he thought about Amanda again.

"What do you mean used to?" She asked wondering what person would be discussing grief with David. Then she remembered he brought Amanda to the funeral, she must be the one.

"I don't want to talk about it. I have to go back to the hospital. I have forms to fill out for Kendall." He said turning to leave.

She grabbed his hand before he was too far from her to do so. "David. You can always talk to me, I'll listen." She told the father of her daughter, a man she might even love.

"Thanks." He replied as he headed back to the hospital.

"Well everything looks good so far." Dr. Banyan told Jake and Amanda, referring to her blood work and exam.

"How far along am I?" Amanda asked hoping for, well she didn't know which would be better, David or Jake.

"Without the ultrasound to confirm it looks as though you are about four weeks, maybe five." The doctor told her.

The doctors' words pretty much confirmed that Jake was the father. She didn't feel happy that it was his, but she didn't think she would be happy if it was David's either. She really didn't even want the baby. Not because it was an inconvenience or that she hated children, it was the fact that she was nowhere near mother material or even grown up enough to raise herself. She relied on the men she was with to take care of her and get her by and now she was going to be responsible for another life. It scared her and she needed to talk to Jake about it since he was involved in this too, whether or not she liked it.

"Ok I will write you a prescription and then you can be discharged. And I will see you again in a month." Dr. Banyan told her and shook Jake's hand before he walked out the door.

"Jake I need to talk to you." She said looking at him but looking away when he looked at her.

"What is it?" He asked feeling it would be something he didn't want to hear.

"I don't know how I feel about all of this. It's all so overwhelming." She said, tears on the verge of falling.

"Are trying to tell me that you don't want this baby?" He asked trying to keep his anger from showing. He was angry at the thought that she wanted to "get rid' of their child, his child.

"That's not what I was saying Jake. I just don't think that I could handle a baby, I'm not ready to be a mother." She told him feeling his eyes trained on her.

"Well I am ready to be a father, so either you will get past this feeling or I will raise our son or daughter by myself." He told her, no once of sympathy to be found.

Before anything else could be said, they heard "Where the hell do you get off Martin?" from the doorway. "Get away from her. Just get out, before I throw you out."

"We're not done." Jake said as he pushed his way past David and eyeing him up.

"Thank you for that but it wasn't necessary. I could have handled him." She said wiping her fallen tears from her cheeks.

"I hope you don't love that asshole. He doesn't deserve it."

"He is a good guy David. He is just upset with me, with what I said that's all."

"I don't think upset is the right word. How did your appointment go?" He asked with fear of what her answer would be.

"You want to know if this baby could be yours, is that what you want to know?" She said knowing that's what he was waiting for. "Dr. Banyan said that I am four maybe five weeks. It's been over seven weeks since we were together David. You know as well as I do what that means." She gave him the news, realizing that she was in fact disappointed that it worked out like this.

"Well we used protection so I am not really surprised that it's not mine." He said trying to hide his disappointment.

"I know we did, but I did with Jake too. I went back on birth control a week after us."

"Nothing is a hundred percent." He added. "Would you be upset with me if I suggested we get a paternity test anyway?"

"You think I would be mad that you want to be sure this child is or isn't yours?"

"Well it's your body and I doubt that you want Jake to be suspicious or to find out about us."

"I don't care what Jake thinks about this. He already made it clear that whether or not this is what I want, I won't get I his way in being a father. I just want you to be at ease. To know for a fact that the baby is or isn't yours. I don't want it hanging over your head that you never made sure, that you could be a father again and never knew." She told him, while she unknowingly held his hand.

"Thank you for understanding. I hope everything works out for you, you and your baby. You will be a great mother, don't doubt yourself." He said to her, their eyes locked as he stood up removed his hand from hers and walked towards the door.

"We'll talk later. I promise." She said as he turned to exit the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Later in the day David had finally discharged Kendall from the hospital. He had told her that if she had any complications that she could call Dr. Kasin, the cardiologist on staff at the hospital. He explained he couldn't stay here any longer but if she wanted to talk about anything that she could call him, any time. It was a policy he had for his patients, after all he kept them alive so he should help keep them that way. She told him she was thankful for what he did, flying across the country and saving her life and hugged him. Zach thanked him again as he left the room and followed him out in the hall. He told David that if there was anything he needed, that he could give him a call.

David made his way to the nurses' desk and handed in his badge. He was making his way down the hall when the hospital administrator yelled him name from down the hall. He stopped waiting for him to yell at him for something, he knew he hated him and that if he hadn't saved the life of Erica Kane's daughter he would never have been able to get temporary privileges for the past two weeks.

"Yes, Dr. Anspach?" He asked waiting for a lashing.

"Dr. Hayward, before you go I would like to know if you would be interested in staying put here at PVH?" The man said hoping to spark an interest

"I enjoyed Seattle Grace and I think I am headed back there, why?" He said as his curiosity spiked.

"Dr. Joe Martin has been dealing with some health issues and has temporarily resigned from his position. We need to find a replacement." The man said trying to hint it that he was asking if David wanted the job.

"You might want to try his son, Jake. I am sure he would love to take control of the reins." David retorted, turning to walk away.

"I am telling you this because the hospital wants you to be Chief of Staff. After your successful transplant on Mrs. Slater, the hospital feels that your status would help the hospital grow, put us on the map. So Dr. Hayward, would you like to be the Chief of Staff of Pine Valley Hospital?"

"After years of pursuing the position, only to be turned down every time you decide you want me, need me to take the job. That's a laugh Dr. Anspach and you know it. But since I like the sound of 'Dr. David Hayward, Chief of Staff' I might just have to take you up on that offer." He said with a smirk.

"So do we have a deal?" The man asked hoping that his answer would be a yes.

"Yes, you have yourself a deal." He said shaking the man's hand.

Amanda left the hospital and went home, not even bothering to look for or call Jake. When she got home there was no sign of Jake and she couldn't be more relieved that he wasn't there. She was dreading his return and the conversation that would probably be had when he returned. She was going to lay down when she got that feeling again. The nausea hit her hard again, and she wished it would just go away, kind of how she wished everything would just disappear.

Jake left her room went to blow off some steam at the gym. He worked out for until he felt loose and had a clearer head. He was heading back to the hospital for his shift when he saw David walking the opposite direction from Dr. Anspach who was walking toward him.

Jake stopped the doctor in the hall. "Is Dr. Hayward leaving?"

"Actually no, he isn't. I just got word that Dr. Hayward is the new Chief of Staff here. He is replacing your father." The doctor broke the news with a smile on his face.

"What the hell? You have got to be kidding me! You are going to let David Hayward run this hospital?" Jake almost screamed while he was in the man's face.

"Easy there Dr. Martin or you might find yourself out of a job. With your father stepping down and Dr. Hayward saving Kendall Slater's life, it was a no brainer for the board and for this hospital." The doctor told him trying to make his way to his office, Jake keeping him from moving.

"You and the board are making a big mistake with this and you'll regret it. And as for me and my job, if Hayward starts anything with me I'm out of here." Jake threatened, and stalked away down the hall.

Amanda sat, well laid on the bathroom floor. She heard a knock at the door but she wasn't sure who it was. She thought that is was probably Jake who wanted to make sure that it was ok for him to just come in so she yelled out "It's open." She heard the door open and close as she listened to the footsteps pace through the apartment. "I'm in here" she called out again thinking Jake would either come in to bitch her out or to help her out.

"You okay in here?" The voice echoed as the door opened.

She jumped a little at the voice turning to see him standing there. She wasn't expecting him. It had only been an hour since she last saw him. "David, what are you doing here?"

"I came by to give Jake the good news but I guess it'll have to wait." He said the smirk leaving his face as he saw her color turn pale. "I take it you're not feeling well again."

"What gave it away?" She retorted and turned back to the toilet to remove whatever little contents were still in her stomach.

"Well you are the color of the white bathroom tile you're sitting on."

"So I look as bad as I feel is what you're saying?" She asked him rolling her eyes.

"Forget it. Can I do something for you? Do you need anything?"

"Can you get rid of this nausea? That would be wonderful."

"Sorry I can't do that but I can get you something that will help. I'll be right back." He told her walking from the bathroom to the kitchen. He looked through the fridge and found what he was looking for. He walked back to the bathroom. "Here, drink this." He said handing her the can.

"Ginger ale?" she said looking at him like he had two heads.

"Yeah now drink it. It will help the nausea and help with hydration."

She drank a few sips in between bouts of nausea. "I'm feeling better already." She said after a few minutes.

"I'm glad to hear that. You think you are done in here for now?"

"Yeah I think so." She said trying to get herself up off the floor.

"Let me help you. You might get a little dizzy getting up from the floor that fast." But the words were too slow as she wobbled for a few seconds and fell against him, catching her in his arms.

Jake had arrived at the apartment minutes ago but after searching he figured the only place she could be was the bathroom. He walked in to see Amanda and David standing there. "What the hell is going on in here?"

"I'm just helping Amanda with her morning sickness since you are nowhere around. Why do you care anyway, from what I heard you don't give a shit how she feels anyway." He said helping Amanda out of the bathroom and pushing past Jake. He walked her to the couch and sat her down. Amanda remained quiet, not wanting to speak to Jake at the moment and focusing on feeling better.

"Get out Hayward!" Jake shouted as he moved over to where they were. "I heard about the boards' decision to hire you and I have to tell you, you pull any of that crap of yours and you'll be out the doors in no time. I am just warning you Dave, I'm watching you." He said eyeing David with every move he made, just waiting for him to finally leave his sight.

David laughed at Jake's 'warning' and turned to Amanda, bending over and kissing her on the forehead. "Call me if you need anything." He told her, loud enough so that Jake could hear and then walked out the front door.

"You want to tell me why Hayward was here and what is going on between the two of you?" He asked sitting down next to her.

"No I don't want to talk to you unless you decide to either apologize or at least talk civilly." She said to him, not even looking in his direction.

"Fine, where do you want to start?" He asked waiting for her response.

"You figure it out and get back to me." She said changing the channel on the TV never making eye contact.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Two weeks had gone by since the day she found out she was pregnant. That was two weeks she had to think about what she wanted to do. She knew she couldn't bring herself to terminate the pregnancy but she still couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was going to be a mother. Amanda and Jake were back on speaking terms but she still had a problem with way he told her she "had to do things". As if the tension between the two of them wasn't enough, Jake came home from most of his shifts complaining about David and his management of the hospital and of him. David was Chief of Staff for a week and by the way Jake complained you would have thought David had the hospital torn down and forgot to replace it. She couldn't take listening to him complain anymore and when he stopped complaining he wanted to 'discuss' the pregnancy. She decided that she needed to get some fresh air, go somewhere, do something, away from him. She thought that she should do something with a girlfriend, but she quickly realized that she didn't have any of those. This was something she did with Babe, who was no longer here, able to do those things. She and Kendall were closer the past few months but now that she was home from the hospital and recovering from the transplant, she spent time with her husband and kids. Something Amanda didn't know if she wanted to happen or if it ever would. Then there was David, who she saw maybe once since that day. He didn't want to keep stopping by with Jake around more frequent and because of the fact that felt something for her. It scared him to even think about her for any longer than a minute because it just made him want to see her more. He tried telling himself that Jake and Amanda were together, having a child but it just made it worse. He knew that they were having problems. He knew they loved each other and would most likely reconcile soon like they did over the past week, three times. The only problem was he couldn't shake the feeling that Amanda didn't feel the same way about Jake as Jake did about her. He wasn't sure if it was the way Jake was with her about the pregnancy or if it was Jake himself.

Jake called Amanda and asked her to meet him at the hospital for lunch to which she reluctantly said yes. When she got there Jake had just finished up with his last patient and escorted Amanda to the cafeteria. In the mean time David had been on his way to the hospital for his shift but stopped at Kendall's for a check-up.

He knocked on the door, he heard footsteps and he waited until the door opened and he saw Zach. "I was on my way to the hospital and I thought I would just come by to check on Kendall so that she doesn't have to come in tomorrow."

"Come on in, she is over there on the couch." Zach said showing him in.

Kendall heard Zach and David talking and in she was surprised with his visit. "Since when do you make house calls David?"

"Since I have such a special patient, one that landed me a promotion." He said proudly sitting down next to her on the couch.

"We heard about your appointment as Chief of Staff, congratulations." Zach said with a hint of annoyance in his breath.

"Do you mind giving us some privacy?" He asked eyeing Zach

"Yeah no problem. I'll go check on the boys." Zach replied already heading out of the room.

David got to what he came for pulling out his stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. He took her pulse, blood pressure and listened to her breathing and heart sounds. "So how have you been feeling? Any shortness of breath, palpitations or tightness in your chest?"

"No, no I feel pretty good considering." She told him, but her face told him something else was going on.

"Your vitals are good and you aren't showing any signs of rejection, but your face tells me there is something bothering you." He could tell she was holding on to something, maybe not something about her health but it was obviously weighing on her.

"It's nothing really. Thanks for asking though." She said trying to avoid talking to him.

"Kendall anything you say to me is confidential. Really, you can tell me anything and I'll listen, its part of my job." He offered waiting for to open up.

" I'm fine, really it's nothing." She tried get him to leave forget about what she was thinking but he was staring into her eyes knowing she would spill. "Fine I'll tell you if you stop looking at me like that!" He changed his eye line and put away his things as opened up. "It's about Amanda. A couple months before the tornado we started getting close, as coworkers and as friends. I had a lot going on the past few weeks and all but she seemed distant the other day when she came to see me. She is keeping something to herself and she said that she and Jake were having a rough time. I didn't even know she and Jake were back together. I told her to call me and we could do something together but she never got back to me and it has me worried. See I told you, I shouldn't have said anything. I mean you don't even know Amanda and just forget I said anything." Kendall felt embarrassed that she was whining about a friend to her doctor, David of all people.

"Believe it or not I happen to know Amanda better than you think. She probably didn't want interrupt your recovery time or your time with your family. She has a lot on her plate right now and she probably didn't want to dump it on you." He said knowing why Amanda had been distracted.

"Since when did you become an expert on Amanda Dillion? And what could she have going on that she doesn't want to dump on me?" Kendall asked confused at his knowledge of someone he had hardly even met much less been around for the past two years.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but she could use you to talk to. She needs to talk to someone, preferably a female."

"David, what is it? Is there something wrong?" Kendall worried at the way he brought this up and what it could be.

"She is pregnant. And Jake, he isn't too supportive of her choices. So if you see her or she calls can you see if you can talk to her, help her?" David asked, almost as if he was begging for her help and Kendall couldn't help but think that there might be more to David and Amanda's friendship.

"Pregnant, huh? Wow, I didn't see that one coming. But yes, I'll see if she needs someone to talk to, I'll help her out."

"Thanks. I hate to cut out on you but I have a hospital to run. I'll see you again in two weeks. Bye" He said as he left himself out and closing the door behind him.

Zach came back in the room after he heard the door closing. "How'd everything go?"

"Strange." She said from deep thought about the conversation she just had. "Oh I'm fine, everything's good. It's just that someone else isn't."

Jake and Amanda each got their food and walked over to a table and sat down. They both started eating, each waiting for the other to bring up conversation.

Amanda started, hoping she could steer the conversation clear of pregnancy talk. "How is work?"

"It could be better if Hayward wasn't wandering the halls." He said rolling his eyes.

"Are you serious Jake? Are you going to whine about him to me every time I ask about work?"

"Why do you defend him every time I mention him?" Jake said annoyed at her attitude.

"When do I defend him? I just don't want to hear you complaining about him every day. It gets old."

"Fine I'll stop bitching about him to you. Why don't we talk about something else?"He proposed just to cut the tension. Too bad he picked the wrong subject. "What's going on with us, with the baby?"

"I don't know. Every time I try to have a discussion with you about it, you tell me what is going to happen instead of having an adult conversation."

"Well you tell me you don't want the child and when I say I want to raise him or her you say no! What am I supposed to say to that?"

"If you loved me you would respect my decision and help me through it instead of forcing me to do what you want!" She spat back.

"If I loved you? You can't be serious. You know I love you, but I want to raise my child even if you don't and I assume that you are planning to give the child up for adoption. Am I right?"

"Is it wrong for me to want this child to have two loving parents instead of one?" She asked him tears welling in her eyes now.

"No, but it sure as hell isn't right for you to ignore my wishes and make the decision for all of us. Did you even stop to think that maybe you might want to raise this child after it's born?" He asked moving his hand to put it on hers but she pulled it away.

"I can't be, end of story. I have to get out of here. Don't follow me." She warned as she got up and left. She not only left the cafeteria but she also left the hospital grounds on foot. She walked for, she didn't know how long but she ended up at the cemetery. She stopped at Babe's grave, needing someone to talk to, anyone but Jake.

"Babe, I need your help."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

She was kneeling at the gravesite when she heard footsteps that were getting closer. She turned to she who was approaching and she saw that it was, _Kendall_?

"Kendall, what are you doing here?" Amanda asked, surprised to see her of all people here.

"I haven't been here yet. I needed to pay my respects so I thought I come by here today."

"Should you really be here by yourself? I mean with your heart and all?"She asked, worried about Kendall.

"Oh I'm fine and Zach, he's waiting in the car for me. I have been meaning to call you, hang out." Kendall said trying not to force the issue but show interest. She had remembered what David said and she was probably here, talking to Babe about things.

"I was actually thinking the same thing but I didn't want to bother you and your family. I mean you just had a heart transplant and you just got out of the hospital." She said looking back at the headstone.

"Why don't we start now? I mean you can come back to my place with me and we can just catch up and plan a girls' day or something?" Kendall asked wondering if Amanda would take the bait. Not that this was a trap but it was obvious by Amanda's pained face that she needed a friend and whether or not Babe had been her friend she needed someone to answer back this time.

"If you are sure that you feel up to it. I wouldn't want to disrupt your family time or impair your recovery in any way." She said trying to give Kendall an out. If she was asked what was going on she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't spill it all and that could be too much for her.

"It will be good for me, I promise. I need a girl to talk to. The boys and Zach are just too much man. Let's go, Zach will drive us." Amanda got up from her position on the ground and walked next to Kendall to the car and they both got in. She felt scared for some reason but this is what she wanted, someone to talk to, someone that would listen.

It was the first afternoon he had off since he started his new position as the COS and he was glad to be out of there. He thought he would relieve some stress and have a few drinks at Confusion. He sat down and ordered a beer, he was thinking scotch but he didn't want to start out rough if he didn't have to. One beer turned into five and soon possibly a sixth. Just when he thought he'd be leaving Jake Martin of all people walked in and ordered himself a beer.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work Jake?" He said slowly pulling the words from his brain which he thought sounded normal.

"I took the afternoon off, what's it to you Hayward? And aren't you supposed to be running the hospital, not getting drunk?" He asked not even looking at David but drinking his beer faster now.

"I'm not druuunnnk!" He slurred this time.

"Whatever." Jake sighed as he got his second beer.

"Shouldn't you be with Amanda? I mean she seemed distraught the couple times I saw her." He said finishing that beer and waiting for his next.

"Why don't you learn to mind your own business and stay out of ours." Jake retorted trying not to let David get to him.

"If I were you I would apologize for whatever it was you did. She just wants a man that will love her and all these guys she gets with, they all break her heart. If you end up breaking her heart Jake, it's going to be my job to fix it." He rambled on working on the sixth beer and probably final one.

"Are you serious Dave? You think she'd want you if I did ever break her heart? Not that I would because I love her but even if I did you would be the last person she turned to." He spit out finishing the second beer and ordering a scotch.

"She wanted me before when you broke her heart and you'll do it again because you're an idiot Martin. I'll just wait for it and when you do I'll be there for her." As he got up from his bar stool he asked the bartender if he called that cab. The bartender said it would be there any minute and that he should wait outside for it.

"You're full of yourself Dave, you know that!" He yelled as he watched David walk to the front door and disappear. _He was just drunk and rambling right?_ He thought as he finished the scotch and worked on the next one, a double and then he went out the back.

Kendall and Amanda arrived at the Slater house along with Zach. Ryan had taken Spike for the night and Zach knew that Kendall wanted some alone time with Amanda so he took Ian for a walk.

"Have a seat. You want something to drink?" Kendall asked her guest as she walked to the couch and sat down.

"No thanks, I'm good." Amanda replied, sitting and waiting for a conversation to start.

"So what's been going on these last few weeks? I haven't been out much so I haven't heard any town gossip in weeks." Kendall asked trying to get her to feel relaxed.

"Not too much. The last few weeks have been boring." She said looking around the house avoiding eye contact with Kendall.

"I can see it in your face Amanda, in your eyes that you are not happy. Tell me what's wrong." Kendall said picking up Amanda's hand in between hers.

"It's nothing really. I don't want to drag you into my man troubles. You have enough on your plate you don't need my problems too."

"Just tell me! I need a distraction from myself and you need someone to talk to, so spill."

"I guess I should start by telling you that I'm pregnant." She started tears welling in her eyes.

"Pregnant, really?" She said trying to act surprised to the not so new news.

"Yes. I just found out two weeks ago."

"I take it this isn't happy news?"

"I definitely didn't want to hear those words when the doctor said them, that's for sure. And now that I realize that it's going to happen it scares the hell out of me!"

"May I ask who the father is?" Kendall asked waiting for Amanda to tell her she is so stupid, that it is her boyfriend's and his name is….

"I'm pretty sure it's Jake's. I mean the doctor pretty much confirmed it was."

"I don't mean to be rude but, how many men were you sleeping with?" Kendall asked surprised that her friend wasn't sure who the daddy was.

"There was a one night stand, but it was a couple weeks before Jake and I were together. Since we got back together it's only been him."

"Who was this one night stand with? Anyone I know?"

"I don't know if I should say. "

"Then don't. You can tell me later if you want to. So does Jake know?"

"Yes, of course he knows. That's part of my problem! I want this child to have a good life with two parents who love each other and him or her."

"So what he doesn't want the baby? He doesn't love you?"

"No he does, both. The problem is that I want to give the baby up for adoption and he doesn't."

"Why in the hell would you want to do that?" Kendall asked completely blown away at what just came out of Amanda's mouth.

"I'm not ready to raise a baby. I can barely support myself and I don't know the first thing about being a mother. And the baby doesn't deserve to have to suffer through my trying to figure it all out."

"So Jake wants to raise the baby by himself? Why would you give the child away if Jake wants to raise him?" She asked even more confused.

"Like I told you two loving parents and if Jake and I get married and want to be together and I can't be a mother than the child will end up just like me. Maybe not exactly like I had it, I mean my mother couldn't be a mother because she was sick but I only had dad and he was busy trying to take care of my mom. It's just, nobody wins like that."

"I still don't get it but if you think its best who am I to argue. By the way I didn't think I wanted Spike when I was pregnant. I thought because he was Ryan's and that he was for Greenlee that I had to give him up. But Zach, he helped me fall in love with him and now I can't imagine a world without him. Just give it some time, maybe Jake will help you come to love that baby before it even arrives and it will change everything."

"I don't know, Kendall. I'm not sure if I want that to happen or not. Well, thanks for letting me vent. And maybe we can have that girls night you were talking about." She said as she got up ready to leave and walked toward the door.

"David was right, she did need someone to talk to." Kendall murmured but loud enough that Amanda had heard what she said.

"Wait, David what?" Amanda threw at her part angry and part happy that he discussing her with people. It meant that he cared enough to do something.

"He just, um well told me that you might need someone to talk to, that's all." Kendall tried to get out of harms way if Amanda were to explode.

"Well he was right, but he shouldn't go around telling people this shit."

"He sounded like he cares about you. I never knew you two were friends, what's going on between you two?" She asked curious about each David and Amanda's words of the other.

"It's nothing. He helped me after the tornadoes. He helped me and we decided that we were you know friends." She told her friend trying to hide the fact that she felt more than just friendship for the man.

"Well he saved my life and I don't go singing his praises to people or telling others they should let him confide in them." She threw back at Amanda waiting to hear her response to that.

"It's nothing Kendall just drop it! I need to get home and get some sleep. I have a feeling I will be spending some time in with the toilet again. Thanks for listening, goodbye." She finished hurrying out the door and even faster to the car.

Kendall could tell there was more to this story than either David or Amanda would admit to but she didn't quite know what it was or what it could be. _Was David Amanda's one night stand? Nah, that would just be weird. I don't know what but there is something more between them._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Another two weeks passed by and Amanda and Jake had been more civil lately. He toned down his pressuring and she forgave him. He figured it was best to wait a few more weeks or months, that maybe her view or outlook on parenthood would change for the better. On that subject there was no discussion, at least for the last week. And the fact that she had an OB appointment was unknown to him. She didn't feel comfortable with him being there, that maybe he would start up again. And the fact that he was a doctor didn't help. He would probably bark orders and take charge of things when she'd rather just hear what the doctor is saying then to listen to his demands. It would be nice to have someone else with her but she had Jake and Kendall who has been away on vacation so she chose no one, at least this time. Maybe Jake can go next time if they are on better terms.

"Hey where are you going?" Jake asked from the couch as Amanda walked to the door.

"Um out with Kendall, why?" She asked trying to keep her convincing expression on.

"I thought that maybe we could go to lunch or something that's all."

"Sorry, Kendall asked me to come over. Maybe tomorrow we could or are you on call?"

"No that's fine. Yeah we can do lunch tomorrow. Go have fun or whatever. Tell Kendall I said hi."

"I will. Bye." She left, out the door in a hurry.

[hr]

Amanda went in for her appointment, and who did she see when she walked into the office. _David. Why is he here?_ He was wearing his lab coat and seemed to be on duty, but why he would be in OB was beyond her. She tried to go up to the desk and give her name without him seeing her but it wasn't hard for him to miss her as she was in direct eye line when he turned to leave.

When he spotted her at the desk he finished up his conversation with the nurse he was talking to. When Amanda was finished at the desk and took a seat he went over to her and sat in an empty seat next to her.

"Is everything ok Amanda?" He asked, a little concern in his voice.

"Everything's fine. I'm just here for a check-up, routine. Can I ask what you are doing in here? It's not every day you see a Cardiologist in Obstetrics." She asked afraid he was there for one reason, her.

"I have a patient who is having some complications with both her pregnancy and her heart. I was consulting with Dr. Greene on her case. I don't see Jake, shouldn't he be here?" He said to her with curiosity.

"Jake isn't coming. It's a long story and I don't want to talk about it now, but if you wouldn't mind not mentioning you saw me here if he comes by I would be grateful."

"I never saw you, got it. So do you plan on going to all these appointments alone or just this one? I mean if you want someone to be with you I can be that person if you want?"

"I just can't deal with Jake right now, once I can he is welcome to come along. But until then he doesn't have to know. I can't ask you to keep doing these things for me. I love that you offer to help me out all the time but I feel like I'm using you. I can't stand Jake and I go to you with all my problems. You have a life and you have this hospital to run. You don't have time to be babysitting me. So thank you for the offer but I'll be fine David."

The nurse had called her name before he could tell her he didn't mind doing these things for her, that he didn't have a life and he felt less alone when he was with her. She got up when she heard her name and kissed him on the cheek and thanking him again before she walked away.

[hr]

The doctor had gone through a lot of things with her and they discussed testing and her overall health. The doctor told her the pregnancy was progressing nicely and that he would see her back in four weeks and they would do an ultrasound. He also recommended that Jake come with her the next time and she just nodded her head and pretended she would. After all she hoped she could bring him next time and that this was a one time deal. _Everything would have just been easier if David was the father_._ He is always there for me and he doesn't act like my feelings don't count. It is also a plus that I love him. Did I just say Love? As in L-O-V-E, Love? Amanda just get out of here and get back to Jake. He is your future and you are having his baby. Why couldn't David just have left Pine Valley? He just had to come back here and get a job. UGH!_ All this ran through her head as she left the office. When she walked out the door she saw him. _SHIT!_

David had waited the 45 minutes she was in there. He waited out in the hallway and saw the expression on her face when she walked through the door, like she just got hit in the face with a brick. _I knew I should have let it go. But I just can seem to stay away. It's painfully obvious she doesn't want anything to do with me but to hell with her it's always about me…_

"David, what are you doing out here?"

"I wanted to talk to you and I had time so I waited."

"I have to get going. I only told Jake I was going to lunch so I should be getting home." She said trying to leave.

"Why do you think you have to hide from Jake? Telling him lies so that you can secretly go to a doctor's appointment? What exactly is going on between you two?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you and especially not here in this hallway."

"Fine we'll go somewhere and talk but you will talk to me. Nothing good can come from lying to Jake. Trust me I am no fan of Jake Martin but you need to re-evaluate your approach."

"Just make it quick. I need to get home." She placated and he walked them to his office.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"I really don't understand why I'm having this conversation with you of all people." She said rolling her eyes.

"Well one, I don't know who else would talk to you about this and two, I feel like this is partly my fault."

"Your fault? You don't even know what is going on!"

"I know this is about the baby Amanda. It was only a couple weeks ago you were crying to me about Jake and how he didn't care how you felt. And yes I think I am part of the reason you are in this situation. The day I left here and thought I'd never be back, I used you. You wanted something more and I blew you off. I was a jerk and that sent you right into Martins' arms. If I had stayed with you, you wouldn't have needed Jake and maybe you wouldn't be pregnant. You wouldn't have this life altering decision to argue about with Jake and things might have been better."

"You act like I am some needy teenager. You act like you are the reason I am with Jake. Did you forget that Jake and I were together before that tornado blew into town? That we were a happy couple? You are the one who jumped in the middle and screwed things up. So yeah it is your fault that I am stuck with a decision I don't want to make!"

"Is that a decision about the baby, one that you want but Jake doesn't?"

"Just stay out of this. Haven't you already done enough?" She spat at him, getting up from her chair and moving to the door.

He got up and moved faster to the door and standing in front of it. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on, maybe I can help."

"Just move, you can't help." She stood hitting his chest with her hands trying to force him to move.

"Why can't I?" He asked, waiting for her to give in.

"You can't, you can't help me love this baby." She shouted now quietly sobbing against him.

He wasn't sure what to say to her, to make her feel better, to console her. This wasn't his area. He didn't do feelings often and he didn't know anything about women and pregnancy that the textbooks in medical school didn't teach him. He figured it was best to tell her the truth, that he didn't know what to say and that he didn't know how to help her. "I wish I could." He started, wrapping his arms around her. "But I don't know how." It was silent for a few moments.

"I'm sorry. None of this is your fault." She apologized, wiping tears from her face.

"It's not your fault either." He said helping her wipe the tears away.

"How is it not? I am having a baby, a child and I feel nothing."

"It's just not. Give it some more time. You haven't had a sonogram yet, right?"

"No, next appointment I will."

"Well your feelings might change when you see him or her for the first time. When I first saw my daughter's ultrasound, I felt an incredible amount of joy and when you see the baby for the first time it's just amazing."

"What if I never feel a connection to this baby? What if I'm not meant to be a parent?"

"You will and you are. You may not feel it now because or life changes or hormones, once you hold your child for the first time you will love them forever."

"I hope you are right. I may not be ready for a child but I don't want to hate it."

"Have you talked to Dr. Greene about this yet?"

"No. I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it. I still can't believe I just told you, crying and all."

"Well you needed to tell someone and I just happen to be the one to force it out of you. There is someone else you should tell though."

"You are not suggesting that I tell Jake, are you?" She said, anger pushing out through her words.

"That's exactly the person you need to tell this to. A lot of your problems are because you don't and won't talk to him."

"I can't tell him about this. He won't understand like you do. He will just tell me I'm crazy and that I need to find a way to love the baby."

"I don't understand why you think you can't talk to Jake. I know I talk bad about the Martin's but even I know that Jake is a good guy. I may not think he is the guy for you but I know he will understand more about what you are going through if you tell him. Just give him a chance. If you don't, I will."

"But I can't, not yet." She told him, pacing around the small office.

"I'm serious Amanda. If you can't bring yourself to tell Jake the truth, then I'll take you to Jake and help you tell him."

"I'll tell him, just not now."

"Nope. If I let you wait you won't do it. Get your coat. We are going to talk to Jake now!" He said taking hold of her arm and walking them toward the door.

"Don't make me do this David, not now." She protested, but he wasn't listening as he walked her to his car and put her in it and heading to her apartment.

She didn't speak to him on the ride over and the walk up to her apartment. He looked at her and she pulled out her key, opening the door.

"Honey, she's home." David mocked as they walked in.

"What's going on here?" Jake asked confused when he heard David and saw them coming in.

"Amanda has something to tell you, don't you Amanda?" He said not even looking at her because he knew she would give him a death stare.

"I don't know what David is talking about." She said so low Jake could barely hear her and not looking in his direction but at the door she just came through. She rather be walking back through it, anywhere but standing where she was.

"Are you seriously going to make me tell him? I promise that it will make things a lot easier for you." This time he looked at her, she seemed to be withdrawing even further from the situation. "Fine, I'll be the man you need to be and tell Jake for you."

"Tell me what?" Jake said annoyed to the fact that they were sharing some big thing and Amanda didn't want to tell him.

"Why don't we all just sit down and I'll tell you what you need to know Jake." David appeased him and moved Amanda to couch and he sat her down next to Jake and he next to her. "Amanda has been keeping all her feelings locked up and far away from you Jake. The reason she feels the way she does is from all the badgering you did when she found out she was pregnant and now she feels she can't talk to you. Now since I actually listen to what she says, she opened up to me, crying to me. Did you know she had an OB appointment today?" he said watching Jake's face and knowing he had no clue. "I didn't think so, but she did. She just didn't want you with her because you make her uncomfortable. Now I'm not here to throw this all in your face, because I would love to do that but I can't. I want for Amanda to be happy and for her to not hate herself like she does now. And the only way for that to happen is if she tells you the truth."

"What are you mumbling about Dave?" he asked but with his eyes on Amanda.

"One last chance Amanda. Are you going to tell him or should I?" He didn't get an answer so he continued. "The fact that Amanda is ignoring you is because she has doubts about herself. She thinks she isn't capable of being a mother or raising a child and the fact that you told her that she had to have the baby and that you would raise it was just too much to process. She felt that she didn't have a choice and that her life the way she knew it was over. She came to her senses though. She knew that isn't what this pregnancy meant but the last couple of weeks she noticed that she didn't feel a connection to the baby and that scares her to death. I don't know what to do for her, to explain to her that this happens and convince her she will grow to love this baby and I felt that as the baby's father that that was your job. Only she wouldn't tell you, so I did. I know that we are guys and have no idea why this is such a big deal for her but it is and I blame it on hormones, one thing no one can control."

"I..I don't know what to say." He wasn't sure he knew why David Hayward was talking to him about Amanda and her feelings but he was grateful that someone knew what was going on with her. He looked at her through most of his speech but it was now he noticed the pained expression on her face, but it had been the same one that was on her face for the last four weeks. Now he understood why it was there and he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm going to go." David said getting up from the couch and making his way to the door.

Jake stayed in the same position he was in, just holding Amanda now. "Thanks." He said as David opened the door.

He didn't say anything as he left, closing the door behind him. He should have been happy that Amanda was going to be better off because of what he just did in there but he wasn't. He was pissed. Not because he had to tell Jake all of these things but because Jake was the one who was going to make things better for her, help her through this. Hopefully he would be done with all this. The emotions he felt when she cried and when she needed him because he couldn't take this. He couldn't take her crying on his shoulder and then her ending up with Jake every time. This was the last time he cheerlead for Jake next time he might just cheerlead for himself.

She was glad this was over and Jake knew the truth. She wasn't happy that she couldn't do it herself but she was relieved that Jake had seemed to be there for her. He wasn't leaving, he was holding her. She felt safe and she didn't feel so alone. The only problem was Jake wasn't the one she wanted to be held by.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Another four weeks had gone by but these were happier times. Jake and Amanda had been on better terms and she allowed Jake to go to her latest OB appointment which was just yesterday. They had both talked to Dr. Greene about her problem and discussed it then he did an ultrasound. When she first saw the tiny thing on the screen, she had hoped that she would fall in love with it. She ended up disappointed that now that she had picture to go with the words she didn't feel anything more that she did before. But something in her told her that maybe with time she could.

He hadn't seen her since the night he left her in Jake's arms, partially because he didn't want to. He saw them together yesterday leaving the hospital. They looked happy and that's what made it worse. Yes that is what he wanted when he told Jake about her problem. He couldn't stand her crying to him all the time when all that needed to be done was to tell Jake. And now that he saw them, saw her happy it made it ten times worse. Was he jealous? _Yes_ but at the same time he wasn't. He just didn't like that he had to stand on the outside and watch. He wanted to be with her and share the happiness but it wasn't possible. She and Jake were happy now and they were having a baby.

She wanted to find him and thank him. She was angry at him for insisting to tell Jake but it helped and she felt she had to admit to him that he was right. Things were good and David was to thank, only she couldn't find him. The nurse at the desk said that he wasn't scheduled to work for a few more days but she didn't know why. She felt it a little odd that David wouldn't be working for a few days with him being Chief of Staff and all. She thought about asking Jake, hoping that maybe he knew where his boss, the man he hated was.

"Jake, honey do you know where David is? The nurse said that he isn't working for the next couple of days." She asked hoping he knew and would tell her.

"Yeah I couldn't be happier that Dave went to New York for the week. It's going to be such a good week at work without him there." He said not paying attention to the shocked look on her face.

"New York? Why would he go there?" Wondering why he left town for a week and didn't mention it to her.

"A, there is a medical conference there this week and Dave volunteered to represent the hospital. Do you think I should send him a thank you note?" he joked, laughing to himself as they got out of the car.

"That isn't funny Jake. He is the reason we are here, together and stronger. You should be thanking him not mocking him in his absence." She scolded him.

"I'm sorry. I know I owe him for bringing you back to me but not having him at work is like a gift. Sorry, again. Why don't we stop talking about David and go up stairs. There is something I have been meaning to ask you." He said as they rode the elevator up to their floor.

"What is it?" She asked, not knowing what it could be but anxious to know.

"Wait until we get into the apartment. I don't want to say it out here." He told her walking to the door and opening it. They walked in and he closed the door behind them.

"What do you want to ask? And why couldn't you tell me in the elevator?" She asked curious what he had up his sleeve.

"I know we have been through some rough times but these last couple weeks we have been closer than ever. I've been thinking about this we got back together but I decided that it definitely wasn't time. But now things are different. We're having a baby and I think that this is something we should consider. Amanda, I think that we should get married." After he stopped talking, he pulled out the ring he had gotten to make it more real. He didn't think he could ask a woman to marry him without a ring even though this was for purposes other than love.

"Married? You want us to get married?" Surprised at his question she questioned him but got sidetracked by the ring he was holding.

"I love you and I know that you don't exactly call what you feel for me love but I think that we should get married before the baby is born. We care about each other and we care about this baby right? It wouldn't be all that wrong of us to get married for our child would it? It's not like we are doing it for unlawful reasons and I'd feel like bastard if I didn't ask."

"I think your heart is in the right place Jake. It's just, does it really matter that we are married when the baby is born? Will it mean that we love he or she any less?" She spat out, not sure that she didn't want to marry him but it's exactly what she wanted before the tornado. Now that it was happening she wasn't so sure it was what she wanted any more.

"No it doesn't mean that we won't love this child any less. Was I wrong to ask? Just forget I asked. I am going to bed." He backed out moving toward the bedroom as she grabbed his arm.

"I am glad you asked and I figured you would, just not this soon I guess. Marrying you, it's something I've wanted since I met you. I'm just not sure what the reason for getting married should be. I love you, I do. It's just that I'm not in love with you, at least not yet. So I will agree to marry you as long as it doesn't happen until the time is right and hopefully it will be before our son or daughter is born."

"I think I can deal with that. Should I put the ring on your finger? I mean I think that's supposed to be the most important part of this thing for the woman right?"

"Yes! You better put that thing on here or I could change my mind." She joked but serious on the ring part. He put the ring on her finger and she modeled it a bit and watched the light reflect off of the diamond. "I have to go tell Kendall, she'd kill me if I didn't tell her right away."

"Um ok? Maybe I'll call my mom and dad and tell them so they don't hear the news from town gossip or something. Hurry back I want to spend some time with my bride-to-be later." He smiled giving her a peck as she moved to leave. She kissed him back before making her way out the door after grabbing her purse and closing it behind her.

She hated this. She hated that she just lied to him again. It wasn't that she didn't want to marry him, it was that she wanted that person to be someone else, someone that she was 'in love' with. Her dream was coming true, she was going to be a doctor's wife. A great guy was going to be her husband, a hot guy at that. Too bad that the man she loved was the one who helped her get there.

He had just finished up the day of conferences. There were plenty of talks and presentations on management and ethics, enough to last him a lifetime. He was glad for the day to be over and was looking forward to another day just like it. The only upside to this little trip was that he didn't have to see her, see them. The one problem was that there was only one more day here, one more day free of her. Maybe he would just not go back to Pine Valley, maybe even go back to Seattle like he had planned before. He took off his jacket, throwing it on the chair in his hotel room. It was a long day and he wanted to eat something and then go to bed. He heard a knock on the door. He assumed that it was the room service he ordered fifteen minutes ago. He walked to the door in no hurry and slowly opened the door and walked away assuming they would just bring it in and not bother him too much. When he didn't hear anything moving he turned around to see what was going on when he saw her. She was here. The one place he thought he could go to get away from her and yet here she was, standing at his door.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Amanda stood in the doorway as David stood in the room staring at her, not believing it was really her.

"Can I come in?" she asked his still form. When he didn't say anything she walked in and sat on the bed. "I had to come see you.'

"How did you find me?" he said turning around to face her after closing the door.

"Jake told me you were at a conference in New York. I must have called thirty hotels before I found out you were here."

"So they just told you what room I was staying in? Why did you even come here?" He spat out, the anger in him rising.

"I told them I was your wife. What is with you? Are you mad at me for something?" She asked, confused by his harsh tone.

"Yes I'm mad at you. I'm pissed! I came here to New York to get away from you, from you and him. Then what do you do, you track me down and show up here, in my room."

"Are you serious? I don't know what has gotten into you but I don't like it! I only came here to thank you for helping me, with Jake. I guess I'll just go." She scoffed, getting up off the bed.

"That's the problem. You could have just called me but instead you follow me to another state to do something a phone call could suffice." He pointed out, flailing his arms as sign of his frustration.

"I don't have your number."She said looking away

"That's a lie. I gave you my number before I left town in November. You came here for a reason and it wasn't because you didn't have my number."

"Fine, I wanted to see you. I haven't seen you in a month and then you just leave town without saying anything?" She retreated back to the bed.

"That rock on your finger doesn't have anything to do with you coming here does it?" He said pointing out the diamond engagement ring she wielded on her left ring finger.

"This?" she asked touching the ring. "No it doesn't have anything to do with this, with you. But Jake and I got engaged."

"Congratulations. When did this happen?"

"Thanks, I guess. Actually he asked me a couple of hours ago." She said still avoiding his eyes and still inadvertently playing with the ring.

"Jake proposed to you a few hours ago and yet here you are sitting on my bed? There is something wrong with this picture." He said with a half laugh.

"It's not like that. He didn't ask me to marry him because we're in love. He asked me to marry him because of the baby." She told him, her voice rising.

"What a great guy, that Jake." He said mockingly, hiding the hurt laced in his words.

"Why do you have to do this? Mock what Jake and I have?" She said hating the fact that he was right, that she agreed.

"Then why don't you just go? I thought I told you to leave when you got here?" He half asked, half told walking to the door.

"Fine I will. Apparently you aren't the man I thought you were." She pushed out through her now rising anger and the regret she was already feeling. She walked to the door pausing just before she walked out in to the hall.

"I thought you were leaving?" He said wondering why she stopped.

"I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?" he replied still no understanding why she was standing there.

"I don't want to." She said so low he could barely make out what she said. She turned around, pulling the door shut behind her.

"You don't want to? Is that what you said?" He asked, unsure if he heard what she said.

"No, I don't want to go. I don't want to go because I want you." She said looking into his eyes and slowly moving closer to him.

He stood there for a few seconds unsure what to do, what to say. He quickly decided to move to her, put his lips on hers and convince her to stay before she decided to leave. She was surprised by his kiss. It wasn't that she didn't want it, she did. It was that she didn't expect him to do it.

She was going to deepen the kiss but he pulled away resting his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry. I was a jerk earlier. I just couldn't stand watching you and Jake, so I left, I came here. I could finally breathe and then you showed up. It was like I was free and then you show up and I fell apart, again."

She put a finger to his lips to "Just shut up and kiss me again." She demanded and he complied. They resumed the lip lock they were in. It was hot and fast, like the other was water and they had been in the desert for weeks. And it was more than three months since that day, their first time together, their only time together. It wasn't long after that their tongues became part of the equation, delving into one another's waiting mouth.

After they made love, Amanda was the one to break the silence.

"Isn't this the part where you leave?" She said reminding him of that first night.

"We'll this is my room so I guess this is the part where you leave." He said with a smile playing on his lips.

"Oh you're right. I guess I should be going then." She teased, moving as if she were getting off the bed.

He knew she was playing him, that she didn't want to go, a little cat and mouse game. He caught her arm before she got off of the bed and he put his other arm around her and pulled her back to him. "I was a jerk, I shouldn't have left you. You begged me to stay and you were right, I left you like some piece of trash I picked up, used and threw away. Do you think you can forgive me?" He asked, his hand brushing the hair from her face.

"Yes I forgive you. I knew you were leaving but I wanted more. I was being selfish and it took me all of this stuff with Jake and the baby to learn that. The only problem was I couldn't get my heart to stop wanting you. And now that I am here with you and I agreed to marry Jake, I'm not sure what to do." She told him, eyes on his and tears welling in her eyes.

"We'll figure something out, but for now you need to go back to Jake. He might find it odd that his new fiancé is nowhere to be found and that she didn't come home." He assured her, giving her a few quick kisses.

"I don't want to leave you, at least not yet. I'll call Jake and tell him that I don't feel like driving this late and that I will stay at Kendall's." She got up looking for her purse and the cell phone in it.

"Lying to Jake again? I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He said propping his head on his hand and elbow on the bed.

"He won't understand what we have. He already hates that you're his boss. It would kill him to know that we are sleeping together." She told him, reaching for and opening the phone she was looking for. She hit speed dial #2 and Jake answered. She looked at David quick and put a finger to her lips indicating he should be silent. She told Jake that she and Kendall were still at the movies and she would be home late. The fact that Kendall and Zach's place was across town prompted him to agree that she shouldn't drive home late but instead offered to come get her. She quick babbled something about him having a shift early tomorrow and that he needed sleep. She would meet him at the hospital first thing in the morning and he reluctantly agreed and said good night. She hung up and breathed a sigh of relief.

"The lie has been told, now get over here and keep me warm." He quipped as she made her way back into bed.

"Can you just hold me for a little while?" She asked as she nestled her head into his chest. He did, no reply needed.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

He had held her for a few minutes before she fell asleep. He held her tight, like she would be gone if he didn't hold her tight enough. He noticed how beautiful she was when she slept, like an angel.

"You ok?" He asked confused at her seemingly saddened facial expression.

"Yeah, I just had a long day yesterday and then we were here and now its morning and I have to go and you have to stay. Jake is expecting me in a few hours."

"I saw the two of you at Dr. Greene's office yesterday. Is everything alright with the baby?"

"He said that everything seems to be fine. And he did an ultrasound. Jake was so happy when he saw the baby."

"And how did you feel when you saw it on the screen?"

"It was kind of weird, knowing that that is what is growing in here." She said looking down at the visible bump where her flat abdomen used to be. "That something so small will grow into a real person."

"And does that scare you?" He asked, trying to find out if she felt any more connected than before.

"Not so much. I know that it will end up here, as a baby. Its' just that I still don't feel that connection most women say they have."

"And…did you talk to Dr. Greene about this?"

"We did. He said that it's normal for me to feel like this. That it's common for a bond to form when the baby is born and doesn't always happen during pregnancy. And Jake helped ask some of the hard questions. Questions I didn't know I had. Dr. Greene wanted to know if we'd like to know the sex. I wasn't sure but Jake he wants to know. What do you think?" She asked, realizing that he was interested and that maybe he could help her decide.

"I don't know. If you find out, than you can name them early or refer to them as she or as he instead of them or they. But if you want to be surprised than wait." He replied trying not to bias her decision.

"It might be easier to prepare for it's arrival if I know what 'it' is and 'its' name. Yeah I should definitely want to know, this is the thing that is driving me crazy." He smiled at her, she was happy and it was actually because of the baby. He couldn't wait to see her with her baby in her arms whether the father was Jake Martin or not. He loved her and that meant loving this child too. But admitting that this was 'love' to her was going to be his biggest downfall. He wasn't sure he could admit it because he wasn't sure what love was. He hadn't experienced anything like this before. She noticed the way he was looking at her, staring but not staring. "What?" she asked in annoyance of his quiet yet powerful demeanor.

"What do you mean what?" He asked, unsure if she noticed him watching her.

"You just sitting there quiet and looking at me. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Every time you mention the baby your face lights up. I'm glad this baby makes you happy." He said smiling and brushing the hair on her face behind her ear.

She was happy. She didn't even notice it but he did. She tried to deflect his statement not sure if she wanted to discuss these feelings any more. "Why do you keep asking all these questions about the baby?"

"I guess that since I care about you and this baby is part of you that that means I care about the baby too. I don't want to just pretend you aren't going through one of the biggest events of your life. What kind of guy would that make me if I did?" His words made tears well in her eyes. The way he delivered his words made her realize that he could be the man that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He cared enough about her that he cares about this child too and it wasn't even a part of him. It is unconditional love and it wasn't even something she felt for this child yet and he already did.

He noticed her watering eyes. "Why are you crying? Is it something I said?" He asked feeling bad that his words had upset her.

She wiped some tears from her eyes and then put a hand on his cheek , holding it there. "You are such an amazing man, David Hayward. You know exactly what to say and when to say it. I am pregnant with someone else's child and yet you seem to feel more for it than even I do. I can't even begin to explain how that makes me feel but it's something more than just sex and friendship. I think that maybe it could be love." She said all of that wondering if she should have said any of it. She saw his face change when she said that. She was worried she had just ruined what they had and quickly made up an excuse to get away, fearing confrontation. "I have to get going. Jake is going to be wondering where I am and I have a long drive back to Pine Valley." She told him getting up and putting her clothes back on as fast as she could. "So I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked walking back to him and kissing him quickly before making her way to the door.

He was confused by what just happened but it was obvious she wanted to get out of there. "Yeah, I'll be back in the hospital tomorrow afternoon."

"Ok bye." She said already out the door.

He wasn't quite sure as to what he had just witnessed. She was talking them and then she had mentioned that word, 'love' and then she kind of freaked. He didn't know if it was him that scared her or the fact that she had declared this, whatever it was as love.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

A month had gone by since they had started their well, affair. At least once a week Amanda would tell Jake that she was either going out by herself or to meet Kendall, only it was David she was meeting. In fact they had just met each other, at his place of course. She had called Jake and told her that she was working late, at Fusion. Jake was curious to why she was working late, more often. He figured that since Amanda had told him that they were starting a campaign for a new line of perfume that she was working on that. He thought it would be nice if he surprised her at work, brought some dinner and then drove her home. Between his shifts at the hospital and her working late, he felt they never saw each other and he was going to take advantage of this opportunity.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

David and Amanda were lying in bed after making love. Neither one of them had brought up the conversation they started in New York for fear of screwing things up. Instead they talked about her and the baby with a few mentions of Jake.

"I think Jake might be getting a little suspicious. He doesn't know that you make his schedule around the times we spend together but since we never see each other I think he thinks something isn't as it should be." She said a little worry that this whole thing would be blown to bits by Jake's finding out.

"Then I guess you'll just have to play nice for a little bit. Spend some time with him instead of me. I know it'll be hard, but that will throw him off our scent." He pretend pouted at his suggestion.

"I'll just make plans with him once or twice this week. Make him feel like I am making time for him. I'm going to be thinking of you though when I'm with him." She said climbing up his body, placing kisses up his chest.

"I'll be thinking of you too. When I'm here by myself."

"Ugh, I need to get going. I told Jake I was working late but I'm always home by 10. If I'm not home soon he might call me or call work." She told him slowly moving to get up.

"I wish you didn't have to go." He whined, slowly loosening his hold on her arm and letting her get off the bed.

"I wish I didn't either, but Jake can't find out about this." She told him with certainty.

"Remind me again why he can't know?"He asked still unsure of the reason this was a secret.

"He just can't. If he finds out about this it's just going to complicate things. He might leave me and when the baby is born who knows. He knows how I feel about this pregnancy and who knows he might even try to get custody of the baby. If things stay the way they are…" she stopped mid sentence. She wasn't really sure what her reasoning was for keeping this a secret. Maybe she just wasn't ready to lose Jake and the family they were going to have but how they were going to keep this up she didn't know. "We just can't tell him okay. I'll call you later. Bye." And she was out the door.

She always left that way, in a hurry and she always diverted subjects that he brought up. She was like a book that needed to be read a few times before you could completely understand it. He had read it once but apparently not enough.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jake got to Fusion with a late night snack, hoping that they could eat and then leave rather than she keep working and he leave. All of her working had to be taking a toll on her. He just wanted her to come home and relax but it never seemed to happen. He walked into the office where Kendall, Greenlee and Amanda worked. He saw Kendall was still here but he didn't see Amanda.

"Hey Kendall, is Amanda still here?" He asked waiting for her response.

"Hi Jake. Amanda isn't here. She left a couple hours ago. Why?" Totally confused as to why he would think she was here.

"She said something about working late. I came by to surprise her."He said wondering why she had lied, if it was a lie. She could have just not had to work late but why wouldn't she have came home or at least called? "I guess we just had a little communication error. She probably called me to tell me she was going somewhere and I didn't answer or she forgot to call. Thanks for your help Kendall." He thanked her and walked back out of the office to the elevator. He'd just go back home and maybe she would be there when he got home or at least be home soon. He called her phone but it was off, so he'd just wait.

"No problem. Bye" Kendall said getting ready to do the same and go home for the night. _Hmm.. _she thought _why would she tell Jake she was working late when she was anxious to get out of here early? Whatever, I'll just ask her tomorrow._

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She arrived home finding it odd that Jake wasn't there. Maybe he ran out for something or maybe he was still working. She wasn't in the door more than five minutes before he was walking in the door.

"Jake, I thought you would be here when I got home." She said surprised he was home later than her.

"Well I thought I would surprise you at work but it was my surprise to find out you left hours ago." He said trying not to jump to conclusions before she gave her explanation.

"I tried calling you but you didn't answer. I was starving, so I left earlier and got something to eat. I'm eating for two now and I was so hungry I couldn't wait long enough to come back here and make something."

"You should have paged me. I would have brought you something."

"It wasn't that big of an emergency that I needed to page you. If you would have answered I would have met you somewhere. I'm sorry I missed you. How about we do something tomorrow night, go out or something?"

"I can't. I told Angie I would cover her shift. But we can meet for lunch if you want?"

"That sounds good." She told him and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to bed now. It's been a long day. Will you be joining me now or later?"

"I'm going to shower and then I'll be in."

"Alright" She said making her way into the bedroom. He knew something seemed off but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. She kept putting more and more distance between them the last couple of weeks, but then maybe it was just his imagination.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Amanda had just come home from lunch with Jake. The only problem was that she was thinking about David the whole time she was with Jake. It had been less than 24 hours since she last saw David but she couldn't stop thinking about him. She missed him so much that she called him to come over since Jake would be covering Angie and be working until late tonight.

When she called him he was working at the hospital and actually had a consult with Jake when she called and he let it go to voicemail. She had left him a message telling him she missed him and she wanted him to stay with her while Jake was working. He called her back when he was back in his office, sure that Jake wouldn't overhear them talking. He told her he had one more patient to see and then he would be over.

She waited impatiently for him, thinking every little sound was him outside the door. After 45 minutes of waiting, he finally knocked on the door. She jumped up to answer the door immediately, opening it and when she saw it was in fact David she moved to him and put her arms around his neck and kissed him like she hadn't seen him in weeks.

When she was done, he commented on the greeting she gave him."Is this how you greet all the men that come to your door or just me?" he joked.

"All the men." She winked, giving him another kiss before she walked inside the apartment as he followed.

"Are you sure it's safe for me to be here? I checked the schedule and Jake's shift is over within the hour?" He asked

"He said he's covering for Angie after his shift, so that gives us a few hours right?" She asked not sure how long Jake would be gone as already started undressing him.

"Yeah her shift is for 6 hours so Jake should be there for a few more hours at least." Returning the favor and working on the buttons of her shirt. "You know we've seen each other four times in the last week." He pointed out.

"I know. These pregnancy hormones are in high gear. I can't get enough of you." She told him already in a haze as they made their way to the bedroom.

"I'm a lucky guy then. A beautiful sex crazed woman can't get enough of me."

Angie had come in a half hour late and thanked Jake for covering that time for her. She had plans that got cancelled so she decided to come in earlier and let Jake go home. He was thankful for that. Seeing Amanda for lunch just didn't seem like enough time. He planned on spending the evening with her, dinner and maybe a movie or something. He was going to let her decide.

He put his key in the lock opening the door and walking in the apartment. He took his coat off and put it in the closet. He looked around, thinking Amanda would be watching T.V. or doing work at the table but he didn't see her. Maybe she is taking a nap. He thought. He walked over to the bedroom door to find it almost closed, cracked open a few inches. He pushed it open, enough to see something that totally confused him for a moment. It was Amanda he saw first and she was naked. It took a few seconds for it to register that she wasn't alone. Much to his surprise he knew the man with her and it angered him more than he thought possible. It was David Hayward and he so wanted to open that door and surprise the hell out of them. He couldn't bring himself to go in though and instead stormed out of the apartment and slamming the door behind him.

Amanda stopped what she was doing when she heard the door shut. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" He asked brushing off her worry.

"The door, I swear I heard it shut."

"You're hearing things." He soothed, kissing her to take her mind off of it.

"What if it was Jake? What if he saw us?" She panicked, getting up and putting some clothes on.

"I think if it was Jake we would know by now. He would come in here and tell me to get the hell away from you." He joked, watching her get dressed.

"You're probably right. That is something he would do but I just can't shake this feeling that he was here."

"Don't worry about it. If he was, then so what. He can't do anything to hurt us."

"I know but it doesn't make me feel any better. I'm going to go see if I can find Jake. You can let yourself out." She told him with a quick peck on the lips and out the door she went.

"Um, I think it's love. I mean I felt this way with Jamie and now again with you. I mean I haven't ever really loved anyone else except for my mom and dad and Tim so I can't say that it is love for sure." She forced out this time only it isn't what her heart was telling her. It wanted her to say that she wanted to wait, wait to see if David came back and that Jake was a temporary place holder. Something she needed to be happy until that perfect guy came along.

She wanted to find him and thank him. She was angry at him for insisting to tell Jake but it helped and she felt she had to admit to him that he was right. Things were good and David was to thank, only she couldn't find him. The nurse at the desk said that he wasn't scheduled to work for a few more days but she didn't know why. She felt it a little odd that David wouldn't be working for a few days with him being Chief of Staff and all. She thought about asking Jake, hoping that maybe he knew where his boss, the man he hated was.

She hated this. She hated that she just lied to him again. It wasn't that she didn't want to marry him, it was that she wanted that person to be someone else, someone that she was 'in love' with. Her dream was coming true, she was going to be a doctor's wife. A great guy was going to be her husband, a hot guy at that. Too bad that the man she loved was the one who helped her get there.

She looked at the hospital for Jake but one of the nurses said that he hadn't been there for a few hours. She didn't know where else to look for him. She realized that after all this time she had spent with him she really didn't know much about him. Then she thought about David. She knew exactly where he would go. If he was angry, he would either go home and drink, or to the bar and drink. And Jake, if he wasn't at the hospital she had no idea where he would go. She went to Fusion hoping she could do some work and take her mind off of him. She really didn't know why Jake possibly knowing about her and David affected her like this.

David sat down at the bar in Confusion next to Jake and ordered a scotch and one for Jake who wasn't looking happy at all.

"What are you doing here Dave, don't you have a bed to be in." He spat out not even bothering to look at him.

"So you were there and I take it you got an eyeful." He smirked, waiting for a reaction.

"You won't be laughing when Amanda calls you, because she will be any time now." He said looking at his watch.

"What the hell are you talking about Martin?" He raised his voice not liking what Jake was implying.

"I was just doing what I had to, to protect my family."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You can have Amanda but you won't be raising my child." He looked him in the face and finishing his drink.

"You really think Amanda would do that to you? You obviously don't know her well enough to know that she would never keep you from the baby."

"This way she won't have the option. I gotta go. Nice chatting with you Dave." He got up and left as fast as he walked in.

Amanda was sitting at her desk when a man in a suit walked in and asked the secretary where he could find Amanda Dillion. He made his way to the desk where the secretary had pointed and said "Amanda Dillion?"

She answered him "Yes, I'm Amanda Dillion." And he handed her an envelope. She took it in her hand and replied "You've been served." And walked out of the office.

What in the hell was that? She thought. What could I be served with and by who? Kendall, seeing all that transpired in the last minute had her walking over to see what was going on. She saw Amanda had the papers out of the envelope and was now reading them.

"So who's suing you?" Kendall asked eyeing her face.

After reading a few lines on the papers and getting the gist of what they said, she answered Kendall's question. "It's Jake. He's suing me for custody of the baby." She told her not fully believing the words she was speaking.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Are you serious? I thought you two were engaged? What the hell happened?"

She was quiet. She knew why he did this. Her worst fear had come true."I don't know." She lied.

"He probably got the idea from Ryan. He did the same thing to me with Spike. But you said you don't know why he would do this?" She asked confused.

She tried not to look at Kendall and her inquisitive face. "Things were good. I don't know what happened?" She lied again, not as convincingly as before.

"Amanda, is there something you're not telling me?" She asked noticing the spaced out look she had.

Before Amanda could answer her, David walked in. "Amanda, Is everything alright?" He asked worriedly as he walked in the office.

"David? Do you know something about this?" Kendall asked even more confused than she was before.

"What did Jake do?" He asked, knowing they had received Jakes' message.

"He's suing me for custody of the baby." She said on the verge of tearing up.

"That Martin, he's going to pay!" David said, anger building.

"David don't, you'll just make things worse. You know why he's doing this. It's our fault." She reasoned.

"Uh, am I missing something here?" Kendall asked wondering where all this was coming from.

"I take it you haven't told her anything?" He asked, knowing she hadn't.

"What is going on between you two?"She asked, beginning to get annoyed.

"It's nothing." Amanda brushed her question off.

"Nothing? We're nothing?" He asked, upset she was dismissing what they had.

"What you mean `we're'?" Kendall asked, not quite she if they meant what she thought they meant.

"She's your friend. Explain it to her." He told Amanda, Kendall waiting for this "explanation".

"Jake did this because he saw David and I…he saw us in bed together today." She pushed out, almost embarrassed at what she was admitting to Kendall.

"You two?" She asked, pointing back and forth between the two of them.

"Yes Kendall, me and Amanda." He replied a little shocked at her disbelief.

"You're joking right?" She half asked half laughed.

"If I were joking would I do this?" He said as he moved to Amanda and leaned her back in her chair and planted hi slips firmly on hers. After her initial surprise, Amanda quickly reciprocated.

"Alright, I believe you. But what exactly is this?" She caved but they made no move to stop their actions. "You can stop anytime." She hinted as they broke apart, content with their show.

"You asked for it. You can't challenge him and expect for him not to prove you wrong." Amanda warned.

"So let me get this straight. You slept together. Jake saw you. And then he decided to sue you for custody of the baby all in one day?" She asked knowing she had the gist.

"I'm just surprised it took him this long." David threw in.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked after he hinted this wasn't just a relatively new relationship.

"A little over a month, but technically we started this on November 3rd." Amanda confessed.

"November 3rd? But that was right after the tornadoes?" Kendall said confusedly

"We slept together before I left town and I wasn't planning on coming back. Then I got the order from my boss that I had to come back here to save your life. You're the reason we're back together." He informed her.

"Me? I don't even know what to say." Kendall said astonished.

"I guess I should thank you for giving me back the man I love." Amanda said to Kendall

"The man you what? Did you just say you love David Hayward? No offense." Kendall asked thinking maybe she was hearing things.

"Yes I did. Over the past couple months I realized that I'm sure this is what love is. I thought I loved Jake but it's not possible because he's not the one I want to be with. All this time I was chasing after Martin's and then the tornadoes brought you back to town and that was it. I knew I wanted to be with you, David Hayward. I love you." Amanda confessed, standing up, taking his hands in hers, and staring straight into his eyes.

He didn't know how to respond to her. He felt that he loved her more than he ever thought possible at this moment. He didn't have any time to find the right way to say the words before they fell out of his mouth. "I love you too."

Kendall just stood there taking this all in. Her friend, a close friend, maybe even best friend, was twenty-six years of age and in love with David Hayward who was in his forties. This didn't even begin to make sense but then love didn't always go as planned. She and Zach were an example of that.

Amanda didn't think she could find a response that fit her feelings about how his words made her feel, so she just wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him with a love filled kiss. Still half in shock, he put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer yet.

"I know this is romantic and all but shouldn't you be focusing on these?" She told them picking up the documents.

They wouldn't mind clearing off Amanda's desk and making love right there, right now but Kendall was right, they had to take care of the Jake problem first. They slowly pulled apart and he was pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, using speed dial he dialed a number. "I have my lawyer on speed dial." He said with a smirk. "I'll be right back." He told them walking away to call the lawyer and get things hopefully straightened out.

"So you two are really in love aren't you?" Kendall said finally comprehending the situation before her.

"Yes. I finally found love." Amanda said, still reeling from David's words a few minutes ago.

"There is only one problem on the road to eternal happiness. The child you're carrying has a different father and he's not happy about your newfound love." She pointed out , bringing the happiness to a sudden halt.

"This is just a temporary roadblock. I'll just talk to Jake and he'll drop this suit."She told herself out loud.

"I have a little experience at this kind of thing and one think you should realize is that Jake didn't like David to begin with. Ryan hated Zach and that was a major reason he did what he did. If Jake is anything like Ryan, he won't give up easily." Kendall warned.

"Thanks for the pep talk Kendall." Amanda joked.

"I'm just trying to prepare you. Men are a pain in the ass but I wouldn't trade Zach for anyone."

David walked back to where they were talking. "Stark is going to get in touch with Jakes' lawyer and see what's going on." He told Amanda but letting Kendall know.

"It's getting late. I want to go home and tuck the boys in. I'll see you tomorrow Amanda?" Kendall told them while she gathered her things.

"Yeah, I should get Amanda home too. And you, are you taking care of that heart?" David asked, feeling protective of his work.

"I follow all your instructions to the T and I feel great. "

"Good." He praised her before she walked.

"I am happy for you two, really." Kendall turned to tell them before she walked onto the elevator.

"Let's get out of here." Amanda said, moving closer to him, putting her arm around his waist and leaning against him.

"Yes, let's." He agreed and they walked to the elevator, together.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

A month had gone by since she was served with Jakes' papers. There had been a hearing, two weeks after Jake had filed the papers. The bad news is the Judge thought Jake had made a good enough case to grant him emergency custody that included his approval of anything that happened regarding the child until birth. After birth the custody arrangement, if it wasn't settled out of court, would be reexamined. Jake claimed that Amanda was unstable, had been planning to give the child up for adoption without his consent and that David would deny Jake of his right's by legally making the child his through marriage. Stark had told them that there was a good chance that Jake's claims would be dismissed. The only problem was the judge assigned to the case happen to be a single father who's wife had try to cut him out of the child's life, and now he had more sympathy for the fathers in his cases.

The worst part about this whole thing was that Jake knew none of these things were true, or at least hadn't been for months. Amanda had wanted to talk to Jake, make him see that nothing was going to change regarding the baby but he had blown her off the first two attempts and David had told her not to try anymore. He said that if Jake wanted to know anything or say anything to her that Jake would talk to him and he would relay the message. The stress of the custody mess was having an adverse effect on Amanda's pregnancy. She had an elevated blood pressure and in turn was required to get bed rest in a stress free environment.

Amanda had an OB appointment and was planning on finally finding out the sex of the baby. David had offered to take her to it and make sure that Jake wouldn't force his way in. He could do that, seeing as how he was Chief of Staff. That was really the best defense he and Amanda had against Jake.

They arrived in the office and Amanda had checked in. David, meanwhile had posted a security guard outside the office to watch for Jake. The last thing he wanted was Jake barging in Amanda and making things difficult for her. Yes Jake was to know everything that happened, tests, procedures and anything else he wanted to know because of the court order, but he didn't have the right to be in there if she didn't want it.

The nurse had called Amanda's name but before she walked back she walked to David. "Can you come in with me?" She asked.

"Are you sure? I can stay out here. Wait for Jake." He suggested, not wanting to force anything on her.

"Please. I want you there." She pleaded, nothing else needing said before he was walking with her.

When Dr. Greene had first walked in the room, he was surprised to see David sitting in the chair next to Amanda. Yes he knew about what was going on with Jake but he hadn't expected David Hayward, his boss in here and with her. "Dr. Hayward, I didn't expect you to be here?" He told them, relaying his surprise.

David didn't have time to respond because Amanda responded first. "Well he'll be here from now on and he's my family and medical contact." She told the doctor and then looked at David who was smiling at her words.

"Okay" Was the only word he could manage, a little confused as to what was going on.

After all of the normal routine tests, Dr. Greene had asked if she had wanted to find out the sex of the baby from the sonogram. Amanda nodded. As the doctor set up the machine and turned it on, Amanda could feel the nervousness creeping up her body. Yeah, she had seen this little person many times before but today, today she was going to know whether it was her son or her daughter. Dr. Greene located the spot he wanted and indicated the parts they were looking at. She knew that he was going to reveal the sex at anytime and so she reached for David's hand and laced her fingers in his.

"It looks as though you daughter is perfectly healthy for 28 weeks." The doctor pronounced.

"Daughter?" She half asked, half knew. There were a few tears in her eyes and one falling down her cheek. This had been the moment that she knew she loved this child more than anything else. _My daughter,_ she thought and David squeezed her hand to let her know he was there for her and her daughter.

"Yes, you're having a girl. I'll print out a copy for you and one for your file. Now that you are in you third trimester, I'll be seeing you every two weeks and we will continue to monitor your blood pressure. It was a bit high today but it should come down quite a bit in the next few weeks." The doctor added before saying goodbye and leaving the room.

She sat there on the exam table still looking at the print out. "The moment he said daughter, it was the moment I knew I love her. It took me all this time but finally feel like she's a part of me and that I'd do anything to protect her, even if that's from Jake." She poured out, putting a hand on her abdomen.

He wiped the several tears were now falling from her cheeks. "You've always loved her, you just didn't know it." He whispered in her ear. "And if you'll let me, I'll protect her too." He vowed placing a hand of his own on the hand of hers that was over the child.

Even more tears were falling with his words and she kissed him softly. "We'd like that." She smiled.

"I don't want to wear this thing all day." She joked about the gown she was wearing.

"Right. It doesn't even look good on you, but then I'd rather you were wearing nothing." He smirked, getting up to get her clothes and helping her change.

"That can be arranged." She threw back at him, wearing an equally devilish smirk and removing her gown.

"While I'd love for this to continue, this isn't the place. It wouldn't be good if a patient or doctor walked in on the chief of staff with a naked woman in an OB office." He told her, handing her more items of clothing.

"Your right, we wouldn't want to compromise your position." She rolled her eyes, buttoning her shirt and he was putting on her shoes.

"Come on, let's get out of here." He told her, taking her hand. They walked out of the exam room and into the waiting room. David said he would wait outside for her while she scheduled her next appointment.

When he exited the office, he bumped right into the person who was walking in. It was Jake and he wasn't happy to see David coming out of that office.

"What the hell are you doing here Hayward?" Jake asked even though he already knew the answer.

"I could ask the same about you. Don't you have patients to attend too?" David asked knowing exactly why he was there and that he in fact had patients.

"I'm here to check in on Amanda's appointment. I have the right to know how my child is doing." Jake said while trying to move by David and through the doorway. David put his hands out and pushed at Jake's chest keeping him out.

"You shouldn't be here Jake. You've already caused undo stress on Amanda and it's affecting the pregnancy. Do you really want to hurt your daughter any more than you already have?" He pushed out, anger building.

"Did you say daughter? She's a girl?" Jake asked. He hadn't expected that. Now that he knew the sex, it was different, better.

"Yeah, now get out of her before Amanda gets out here. You'll have a copy of the file later today."He told him, hoping that was enough to get rid of him.

"I'll go, but I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for my baby girl." He informed.

It wasn't ten seconds later that Amanda walked out the door. "Hey, you ready?" He asked, hoping she didn't see Jake.

"Yeah, let's get out of here."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Another three weeks had gone by. She had only seen Jake twice since he was granted custody. They had only been in passing at the hospital when she was visiting David. She had tried twice to go see Jake, talk to him about what was going on and how they could work this all out. She had problems trying to get in touch with him because David had Jake scheduled for as many shifts as possible. It was so that he could keep Jake away from her as much as he could. He had offered to go with her to talk with Jake but she told him she needed to do it alone. He wasn't going to let her near Jake, let alone try and make a deal with him. He had already caused Amanda to have complications from the stress of the custody hearing and he wasn't about to let anything else happen if it was avoidable.

She was lying in bed, waiting for David to finish up in the bathroom and come to bed. She knew that he had a meeting tomorrow with other Chief of Staff's from various hospitals in Pennsylvania and that Jake wasn't working. This would be the perfect time to talk with Jake and not have to worry about David 'protecting` her.

David had finished up in the bathroom and crawled in bed next to her. He gave her a quick kiss before he settled in. It was quiet for only a minute when Amanda spoke "I've been thinking." She started.

"Thinking about what?" He asked curiously.

"Names. Now that I know she's a she I figured I should give her one."

"Have you come up with one?" He asked

"Kind of. I was thinking about my family and who I could name her after. I thought about naming her after mom but I decided I don't really like the name."

"Who else is there? I mean I don't know about many of your relatives."

"My aunt, Natalie. She was like a second mother to me. In fact she actually adopted me when my mom went sent to prison."

"Natalie is a beautiful name." He told her, watching her.

"I think I like it." She said with a smile on her face, moving her hands over her ever expanding belly. She felt a kick and David saw the surprise on her face.

"What is it? Are you okay?" He asked worried.

"Yeah, everything's fine. She kicked. I think she likes her new name. She took David's hand and placed where she had just felt the baby. "Natalie" she said aloud. This time he felt the kick.

"That's amazing." He exclaimed. It had been since Leora that he had last experienced something like this.

"I think it means she likes it. At least I hope that's what it means." She thought, hoping it wasn't because she hated it.

"I'm sure she loves it." He reassured her and wrapped his arms around her. They both laid there content and drifted off to sleep.

David had left early for his meeting that was in Philadelphia which gave her more time to get ready and go see Jake before his shift. It took her about an hour but she finally made it to Jake's apartment and knocked on the door.

He opened the door and was surprised to find Amanda, standing at his door, alone. "Where's your bodyguard?" He said in a sarcastic tone.

"You know where he is. I want to talk with Jake, about the baby, and this arrangement."She told him, forcing her way in and taking a seat in a chair.

"What's there to talk about? We settled this in court, remember?"

"I know why you did this Jake. You were angry and hurt and you thought that you were going to lose your child too."

"You don't know what you're talking about Amanda. I'm just trying to protect our daughter from your choices." He told her, thinking he could dissuade her thoughts.

He was close enough to her that she grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sitting in a chair next to hers. "Jake, you know I would never keep this child from you. You're her father and nothing can change that. Not even David." She soothed.

"You can't control Hayward, no one can. He'll find a way to take her from me. He hates me and he would love to play daddy with my child." He threw at her, not at all happy with what he considered to be naïve judgment.

"David would never do that, to me, to our daughter. He loves me and I think he loves this little girl like his own, but he respects that you are her father."

"You said…he loves you? Does that mean you love him?" He asked even though he knew what the answer would be.

"Yes" She told him, looking him straight in the face.

"And you're sure he wouldn't try anything? I mean…"

She cut him off, "No." She saw him taking in her words, thinking them over. "So do you think we could come up with some type of agreement? Something the courts don't have to be involved with?" She asked.

"I'll think it over. I want to have a chat with David first. You know, man to man. Hopefully we can work this out before she's born." Jake continued until he noticed Amanda was having trouble breathing. "Amanda, are you okay?" He asked, hoping it was nothing.

She shook her head yes before pushing out her words between inhalations. "Just some shortness of breath. I've been getting it sometimes."

Does your doctor know? I mean, you aren't lying down or moving around. There isn't a reason you should be this short of breath." He asked, moving closer to her.

"He told me it was normal. That it's because of the swelling." She forced out, it being even harder to catch her breath than before.

"You don't look so good. I'm going to take you to the hospital. Just to make sure everything is okay."

She nodded as he helped her up and out the door.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Amanda had passed out on the way to the hospital, which scared Jake more than he realized. He carried her into the ER shouting at nurses for a gurney, Dr. Greene and a stethoscope. He laid her down and they wheeled her into a room. He shouted some more orders while he listened to her heart and lungs. "Page Dr. Hayward" He told one of the nurses. He knew that no matter how he felt about David, he might end up jobless if he didn't. He also remembered what Amanda had said earlier, that they loved each other. "Where is Dr. Greene?" He asked, getting frustrated that he couldn't control any of this. "Her O2 sat is 88, increase her oxygen to 15 liters per minute. If it doesn't go up to at least 95 in the next couple of minutes I'm going to have to tube her." He warned the nurses as he placed his hand on his forehead. Dr. Greene had finally arrived in the room and Jake moved into the hallway after explaining the situation to let him check on her and the baby.

A nurse walked up to him in the hallway. "Dr. Hayward isn't answering his page." She told Jake.

"Try again, 911." He told her

"I did. Several times." The nurse responded before heading into the room.

Jake got out his cell phone and dialed his bosses number. _Never thought I would call this number_. He thought to himself as he heard a ring. David answered after the third ring and after he excused himself from the conversation he was in. "David Hayward." He answered.

"David, it's Jake."

"I don't have time for this Martin. I'm in the middle of a very important…" He tried to finish but was cut off by Jake.

"It's Amanda. You need to get to PVH, now!" He demanded of David over the phone. He heard silence for a short time. David knew that if Jake had been the one calling him that it must be serious.

"Jake what's wrong with? Is everything okay?" David asked panicked.

"Just get here." Jake pushed out before shutting the phone and ending the call.

After the phone call, Dr. Greene had finished with his exam. "It looks as though the pulmonary edema is linked to the progression of preeclampsia. I am recommending she be started on Lasix to reduce the edema and I'm going to order a few more tests. If the preeclampsia doesn't progress any more, than your daughter should be able to be delivered when she is ready." Dr. Greene reported.

"Are you sure that this is preeclampsia?" Jake asked, not completely sure that this is what this is.

"I've diagnosed and treated more cases of preeclampsia then you've saved patients Dr. Martin." The doctor chastised as he headed back to his floor.

Dr. Greene had been an accomplished OB/GYN but Jake couldn't help but feel there was something else. He in a chair next to Amanda who was still unconscious but her oxygen saturation was climbing.

It hadn't been more than twenty minutes when David showed up in Amanda's room, out of breath. He had been more than thirty minutes away, which had Jake wondering how fast he drove to get here.

"What the hell happened? How is she and what's going on?" David threw out faster than he could process the words or get a hold of himself.

"She was having trouble breathing and then she passed out on the way here. She's been unconscious ever since and her O2 sat is up to 92. Dr. Greene said that her pulmonary edema was brought on by preeclampsia." Jake told him, not even bothering to look at David because he knew he was looking at Amanda and wasn't even going to look at him anyway.

"I go away for one day, half a day even and you go putting yourself in my hospital." David joked, trying to keep himself from falling apart in front of Jake. He kissed her forehead quick before he decided to talk with Dr. Greene.

Jake could see him moving and knew he was going to find Dr. Greene and discuss this. "David? What if I told you that I think Dr. Greene is wrong? That this isn't preeclampsia?" Jake asked, afraid of his answer.

"I'd tell you, you were an idiot." He told him seriously, not interested in what Jake had to say.

"I'm serious David. I think I heard an S4." He told him in a language he understood.

"You're telling me you thought you heard an extra heart sound and she isn't even on a monitor?" He threw at Jake while pulling the stethoscope off of a nurse in the room.

"Sorry, I'm not a cardiologist and Dr. Greene obviously didn't hear one. I thought I was just hearing things or heard wrong." He said defending his ignorance. David was listening and focused on what was there or wasn't there.

"You were right. There is an S4. She is also tachycardic. I don't think this is preeclampsia any more than you do." He agreed with Jake, slightly confused by the sudden cardiac problems. _She had no medical history or family history of cardiac problems so why the hell was this happening_?

"So what do you think this is?" Jake asked hoping he had some idea.

"I'm not sure yet. I'm going to order some tests. And talk with Dr. Greene" He told Jake and then giving a nurse other orders. "Let's get an ECG and cardiac echo. And give her 6mg of adenosine rapid IV push."

"At least the baby isn't showing any signs of distress." Jake thought, both men standing at the end of the bed staring at her. She began to regain consciousness and both men rushed to either side of the bed, David taking her hand in his.

"Amanda? Honey can you hear me?" David asked. She nodded, still unable to speak from the fluid in her lungs.

"Do you remember what happened?" Jake asked this time. She nodded again.

"Baby?" She pushed out, needing to know if her daughter was okay.

"She's fine. I promise." David soothed pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "That's her heart beat right there." He told her pointing to the fetal monitor next to her. "It's strong and steady."

"You're going to be fine too. I need to go talk with Dr. Greene. I'll be right back okay?" David told her kissing her forehead before leaving her side. "Can you stay with her?" David asked of Jake and he nodded in response.

"You had us all worried for a little bit there, especially me. You breathing a little better now? We gave you some medication to get rid of the fluid in your lungs." Jake informed her. He wondered how much he should tell her. Tell her that there was something wrong with her heart? Or wait until David takes her for her tests?

She pulled down the oxygen mask down so that she could talk. "Thank you, Jake."

"You don't have to thank me Amanda. You're the mother of my child. I care about you and I always will." He said sincerely.

"Why did this happen?" She asked.

"Well, we aren't exactly sure yet. Dr. Greene thinks that you have preeclampsia."

"And you don't agree?" She asked, unsure what to make of his words.

"David and I don't think that it's preeclampsia, no." He explained

"David and I? I didn't know you too were that close?" She half said half laughed.

"We're professionals, doctors. It's our job to work together." He told her, the words were true but it wasn't the only reason they were working together. They both had something riding on this diagnosis.

He was going to explain a little more but some nurses came and took her to the procedure room for the tests that David had ordered.

David had finally tracked down Dr. Greene and gave his own input.

"Dr. Hayward, Ms. Dillon is showing many of the signs of preeclampsia but you and Dr. Martin are trying to tell me that it isn't?" The doctor questioned him and his knowledge of obstetrics.

"I understand that the swelling, edema and tachycardia are all related to preeclampsia, but the S4 both Dr. Martin and I heard upon auscultation wouldn't be." David pushed out, knowing he wasn't wrong about this.

"An S4? You're sure?" The doctor asked, perplexed.

David's pager went off, he was due for the test results. "I sent her for an ECG and echo. I am going to look over the results and I'll page you and we can discuss them." He told the doctor before he left.

"I'll be waiting." The doctor finished as he too walked away.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

David stood reading the results of Amanda's testing. He actually didn't have an explanation for the results. She was nearing congestive heart failure. How could someone be perfectly healthy and decompensate in a matter of hours? Especially a 27-year old female? There was one thing he could think of that could be the cause. First he had to discuss it with Dr. Greene and maybe even Jake.

The doctor spent a few minutes checking over the test results that David had handed him. "After looking over these results it doesn't seem like preeclampsia after all. I don't have any idea what this could be just from these results alone. Do you?"

"I think I know what this is but I can't confirm it until further testing is done."

"What is it that you think this is?"

"I think that this is Peripartum Cardiomyopathy."

"Peripartum Cardiomyopathy? I've never seen a case of Peripartum Cardiomyopathy in my fifteen year career."

"I know it's extremely rare but I have seen three cases. The only problem I have at convincing myself that this is what this is, is the fact that Amanda is only seven and a half months pregnant. This disease doesn't show up until the eight month or later. So either the disease is presenting earlier or…" He explained to the doctor.

"Or I made a mistake? Is that what you are implying?"

"I'm just pointing it out that the disease has either shown symptoms earlier than reported. Whether or not that's due to an error remains to be seen. This is the only diagnosis that explains her weakened heart and enlarged left ventricle."

"Well if this is Peripartum Cardiomyopathy, then we should start to prepare to deliver the baby."

"Yes. The longer she carries the baby the more of a strain it puts on her already weakened heart. I'm going to go talk with Jake and run a few more tests. Can we all meet in a few hours to discuss this?"

"Okay. I have a few more patients for the day and then I should be able to join the two of you." The doctor agreed before he walked back in his office and David went to talk with Amanda and Jake.

[hr]

David walked into Amanda's room, Jake still sitting next to her. He removed himself from the room to give them some privacy for now. He knew that David would talk to him when he got the change but he didn't want to take any time away from them.

"Hey baby." He said, kissing her, taking her hand in his and sitting next to her.

"Hey. Do you know what's going with me yet?" She half asked half joked.

"We're still not quite sure so we're going to run some more tests. I promise you we'll figure this out and I'll take you girls home."

"Of course you will."

"I'll see you in a little while okay."

"Okay." She responded before he left the room and the nurses came in to take her for the tests.

He saw Jake down the hall, waiting for him. He walked down to meet him.

"So what's causing these symptoms? The dilated left ventricle, pulmonary edema, and SVT." Jake asked, hoping David had some answers.

"I talked with Dr. Greene. He said he's never seen a case like this."

"You know what this is, don't you?" He questioned, knowing he was holding something back, that he knew what this could be.

"I think I do, yes." He told him while trying to avoid flaunting his expertise. He knew it wouldn't help the situation at all.

"It's bad isn't it? I've seen the test results. Ejection fraction of 40%." Jake said aloud, preparing himself for the news.

"Peripartum Cardiomyopathy. It's rare. 1 in 15,000 births. I've only seen three cases in my career."

"Peripartum Cardiomyopathy? I've heard of it but I've never seen a case myself. So what is the course of treatment?"

"Dr. Greene is going to meet with us in an hour or so to discuss options. Really the best option Amanda has is to deliver the baby as soon as possible."

"At 34 weeks? There is no way that is going to happen!" Jake made clear.

"Jake, you know as well as I do that at 34 weeks, she is perfectly viable for delivery."

"It doesn't matter. I can't take the risk."

"So you're going to risk Amanda's life for nothing? I understand your position, Jake. Even if we were to wait to deliver the baby, if Amanda were to decompensate it would affect the baby too. There really isn't a decision to be made Jake and you know that." He reminded Jake hoping he would listen to reason. If he didn't Dr. Greene would tell him the exact same thing. He had to see this was the right thing for both Amanda and the baby, didn't he?

Jake walked away. He didn't want to discuss this right now. He needed to think. Reevaluate the situation and do what was best for his daughter. He knew David had a point, and he loved Amanda he just couldn't bring himself to risk his daughter's life. At least that was the only way he saw it.

David knew exactly how Jake was feeling. It was just over six years that he was going through a dilemma of his own, only his daughter had serious medical problems. Still it didn't make it any easier. Now it was Jake versus David, only Jake had the legal right to protect his daughter even at Amanda's expense should something happen. Jake was trying to protect his daughter, David trying to protect the woman he loves. It wasn't like David didn't love this child like his own, but he didn't want to lose anyone else. He couldn't lose anyone else. The risk of complications for the baby was small but the risk to Amanda was tenfold and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if she died because of a decision he made.

[hr]

Dr. Greene had already caught Jake on the way down to Amanda's room and David saw the two of them walking down the hall toward him. Maybe the doctor had convinced Jake? What if Jake told Dr. Greene no?

"David." The doctor started. "Jake and I talked for a few minutes and if you feel comfortable with your diagnosis than I agree that inducing labor is the best way to go. Jake has agreed that although he'd rather not welcome his daughter into the world for another few weeks that it is the best way to go." He told him, looking back and forth between the two men. "The only thing left to do is to inform Amanda and make sure she is on board." He finished.

"Do you mind if I tell to her?" David asked aloud meant more for Jake than Dr. Greene.

"I don't have a problem with it. I have to get the paperwork in order and prep a room." Dr. Greene agreed. Jake silently nodded his head yes.

"Oh Jake, I was thinking that maybe someone should try contacting her brother, Tim." David told him, trying to be less than subtle.

"Yeah I'll go see if I can get a contact number. I know we don't want to think like that but yeah he should know what's going on." David gave him a nod before walking into her room.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Jake waited in the hall while David went in Amanda's room and while Dr. Greene left to prep things.

David walked to the end or her bed, picking up her chart and mulling it over even though he knew the results inside and out. She was sleeping. The amount of fluid in her lungs was slowly increasing despite the amount of medication she received. He had many patients that suffered from this same thing. Cardiomyopathy was something he dealt with everyday. But this was a rare and sometimes fatal form of the disease, and it wasn't just some random patient who was referred to him. This was Amanda. His love. And she was now fighting for her life and the life of her child. And he was responsible for pulling them through this and he would, but first he needed to explain this to her. That basically her child was responsible for for her condition and that they needed to deliver her daughter as soon as possible. More thoughts continued through his head as he sat in the chair next to her bed as she opened her eyes.

He was wearing his lab coat she noticed. That wasn't a good sign. It meant he wasn't here as a concerned loved one, well he was obviously that too but he was also here in a medical capacity, and it scared her. She knew she wasn't in for good news but as long as he told her that her daughter was going to be fine she could take whatever he was going to tell her.

"How you feeling?" He asked, picking up her hand with his.

"It's hard to breathe but other than that." She lied. She just wanted him to get to the point.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do about changing the medication." He choked out. This was hard for him. It was always hard to give a patient bad news but to a loved one, it was almost impossible.

"David. Just tell me. Please." She asked, squeezing his hand.

"You have a very rare condition from pregnancy. Peripartum Cardiomyopathy. It's a disease that weakens your heart and it can strike pregnant women anytime from their final month of pregnancy up to five months after birth."

"But I'm only 34 weeks." she said confused.

"I know but Dr Greene, Jake and I agreed that this diagnoses fits."

"Okay so what is the prognosis? Is she going to be okay?" She asked, moving both hands, including David's over her belly.

"As far as this disease, it doesn't affect her at all. But she is making it worse for you. Actually, Dr. Greene and I have discussed the best course of action. You need to deliver your daughter as soon as possible. As in the next few hours."

"No! It's too early. I can't." Amanda pleaded

"Amanda you have to. If you don't, it's going to put a strain on your already weakens heart. Natalie is strong. She's going to be okay. Trust me." He tried to reason with her.

"What if something happens? I won't be able to forgive myself." She started crying

"I will get you both through this. I promise. But please, you need to do this. For her" He pleaded, now holding her hand up to his face. She silently nodded. He understood her reluctance, her need to protect her daughter at risk of her own life, but this was for her daughter. So that she would grow up with a mother. "I love you." He said kissing her hand.

"I love you too."

"Dr. Hayward, Ms. Dillon." Dr. Greene started before he walked in the room. "I'm going to do one more ultrasound before we induce. That is if you have agreed Amanda?" He asked.

"Yes." She pushed out hesitantly.

"Okay then. We'll take one last look at your daughter before we bring her into the world." Dr Greene announced before setting up the machine.

She had tears in her eyes. He daughter was going to be born in a few hours, weeks too soon but it had to be done. He wiped her tears from her face with his thumb.

Dr. Greene had already begun the ultrasound, looking for all the information he needed to proceed. "She looks to be a good size. She appears to be healthy for a 34-weeker and her heart rate is holding steady. I'm going to order the Pitosin and an epidural. Hopefully in about 10 hours or so, your baby girl will be joining us." He smiled quickly and left the room.

"David, will you stay with me?" She asked.

"I'm not going anywhere.

"Okay here's how we're going to do this. We'll start your labor with pitosin in your IV now and continue it until the baby is out. Once you are a good bit dialated we'll break you water and hopefully your labor will progress quickly thereafter. I am going to tell you right now and probably many times in the near future that you will not push, no matter what."

"But how?" She half asked, confused. She had never heard such a thing.

"The contractions will do all the work up until the final stage of delivery and then we can take it from there." He explained.

"Why can't we" She started but David finished, knowing what she was asking.

"Because this is the safest thing for you. There are too many complications that come with a C-section."

"Dr. Hayward, are you sure you are going to be able to act as both physician and patient? There is still plenty of time to find another cardiologist."

"No I can do this." _I have to do this_. "But I will talk to Dr. Bryant at NYU. Have him on stand-by."

"Okay, I'll be back in little while to check on your status Amanda." The doctor said before leaving the room.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

David had called Kendall and had informed her of the precious days' goings on. She hadn't reacted well to the news, but that was to be expected. She had told David that she would be there as soon as she could find a sitter. It took her all of about thirty minutes to make it to the hospital. When David noticed her in the doorway, he excused himself out of the room and into the hall.

While David was out talking to Kendall in the hall, that left Jake and Amanda withs some time alone. Amanda decided she could use this time to talk with him. Tell him some things that she needed him to know. Just in case.

"Jake, you love her right? And you always plan on being there for her?" She asked, trying to match her eyes with his.

It took a second or two to process what she was talking about. "you know I do and I will."

"If I don't make it" she pushed out, tears falling.

"Don't say that. Don't even talk like that. You're not going to die." He told her sternly.

"You know there is a good chance I won't make it out of here and I need to know that you'll take care of her, love her."

"You're going to be here for her too. You're going to watch her grow up, be a mother to her. So just stop, right now. If David heard you talking like this, he'd" Jake stopped, not sure exactly what he was going bring up.

"That's why I waited for him to leave. Please just promise me." She pleaded. She just needed to hear the words to know her daughter would be okay.

"I promise. But I hate to tell you, you're going to be stuck here, with me and Dave and our constant fighting. You know I'm a Martin and Haywards and Martins don't go together." he joked trying to get her mind away from the fear. It wasn't good for anyone to think like that.

"He loves her." She told him wiping what was left of her tears from her cheeks.

"You sure about that?" he questioned. He realized from the look on her face that she knew he did. "I'm sorry. I'm glad. She can use all the love she can get." "I'm glad you found love. Even though it is with David Hayward. I could tell the moment he first walked in here, that it killed him to see you like that. And the way he's been these last couple hours. I've never seen him like that. So pained. So vulnerable."

"Thank you. I know it's taking a lot for you to admit that David is in deed capable of love." She half smiled. She could tell another contraction had hit and that her daughter would be here soon. Dr. Greene had told her she only had about an hour until her daughter would be here. And she was more than grateful. It had been so long and she could feel her body seemingly shutting down. She was so tired, she knew it wasn't good.

"What's going on? How's the baby? I can't believe she's been in here for more than a day and no one called and told me!" Kendall ranted.

"Everything is okay for now. I'm sorry Kendall, I just, It's been one hell of a day."

"Oh David I'm sorry." She apologized and pulled him into a hug he wasn't expecting. "I know this has to be hard on you. Both of you."

"You have no idea. Seeing her in that bed. It's killing me."

"She's going to be okay. You know it and I know it. And that baby girl, she's going to be fine. Everything's going to work out. It has too."

"I wish I could think like you. Convince myself that everything's going to be okay. But I can't. Knowing what I know, my experience as a doctor, won't let me."

"Well I'll just have to do all the hoping and positive thinking for both of us. Now you go back in there and make sure my goddaughter makes it safely into the world. Yes I expect to be her godmother. I mean I'm going to be right?" She said with small smile.

"I'll have to talk with Amanda about that, but I'm sure she'll agree. I'll let you know when you can see her."

"Hey where'd you go?" Amanda asked when he came back in the room.

"Um, Kendall's here. I was letting her know what was going on."

"Kendall's here?" She asked, surprised. She hadn't even realized Kendall didn't know about any of this.

"I called her. I thought she should know what's going on."

"Thank you." She told him, taking his hand in hers.

Dr. Greene came in the room to check on her progression. To his surprise she was fully dilated and the baby would be here in the next few minutes. "Remember, no pushing. I'll take it from here."

David kissed her on the forehead. Her daughter would be here soon. _Our daughter_, he thought to himself. Both of his hands now on the hand he was holding.

Only five minutes went by while Dr. Greene worked on getting her out. It was the first cry they heard that let them know she was here. "You have a seemingly healthy baby girl Ms. Dillon, Dr. Martin." Jake was quick to see her, and cut the cord. The nurses had taken her. She was checked out and wrapped up and handed to Jake.

"Hey there baby girl. Welcome to the world." Jake said softly to his daughter. "you're your dad and this here is your mom." He said moving to Amanda.

As soon as she could see her daughter she fell in love with her, well again. She already loved her before she was born but seeing her that just made it all the more real for her.

"Hi." She said softly to the baby, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I hate to break this meeting short, but the NICU is waiting for her. I promise it will be a short time until you visit her again." Dr. Greene interrupted while one of the nurses took their daughter from Jake.

David watched Amanda with awe. She had worked so hard to get to this point and seeing her so happy made him feel like everything in his life finally made sense. Yes he hated the fact that Jake was the one sharing in this moment. It should have been him. At least that's what he wished, that it was himself holding their child for the first time. But it wasn't and it didn't make him feel like any less of a father to her. As long as they were both in his life he could get through it, knowing that he would be happy. No matter if they never had another child, one that was biologically theirs. He knew that he didn't need that anymore, because he loved them. It was the bells and alarms that jarred him from his thoughts. She was unconscious.

"Amanda? Amanda, talk to me!" He said listening for breath sounds and her chest rising. "She's not breathing. I…I need a number 7 ET tube!" He ordered the closest nurse, Dr. Greene, anyone. "You go be with her." He told Jake, who wanted to help. He wanted to stay, make sure that Amanda would be okay. He knew that he couldn't stay here though. So he hesitantly went up to the NICU to be with his daughter. She needed to know someone was there for her, and he wasn't going to let her down.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Kendall had been in to see her and David told her to go home that she should come back tomorrow and see her goddaughter.

He was sitting next to her, holding her hand in his. She was on a ventilator. Her lungs were filled with so much fluid she couldn't breathe on her own. She was in congestive heart failure. It was pretty much a waiting game now. Either her heart would heal itself or it was going to completely fail. Or it could stay the same and not get any better or any worse. Either way a decision had to be made.

* * *

Up in the NICU, Jake was sitting with his daughter. He saw a nurse motioning for him outside the door. He reluctantly put her back in the bed and walked out into the hall. There was a man standing with her. He was tall, with dark hair. "I'm sorry to interrupt you Dr. Martin but this man says you called him. That he was supposed to speak to you." The nurse informed him.

"It's okay Jen. I called him. Tim is it?" He asked checking to make sure it was who thought it was.

"Yeah it's Tim. What's going on with my sister?"

"I don't have the latest update, but it's not good. When I left she was having trouble breathing. I'll take you down to talk with the doctor in a minute or two. I thought you might want to meet your niece first."

"My niece?" Tim questioned, having a hard time believing his little sister was a mother now.

"Yeah, she's beautiful." Jake said smiling as he walked with Tim to her.

"Does she have a name?" Tim asked, his fingers touching her soft skin.

"No. We didn't really get to discuss it." Jake said, his eyes still on his little girl.

"Are you her father then? I mean my sister and I lost touch."

"Yeah she's mine. But Amanda and I, we aren't together. Don't get me wrong, I love your sister. We just didn't"

"I get it. The important thing is you're here, for her. Thanks" Both men still standing, watching the sleeping form in front of them.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else. Why don't we go see what's happening with your sister?"

"I don't want to take you away from her."

"It's okay. The nurses are going to be running some more tests anyway. Come on."

* * *

"Dr. Hayward?" Jake called from the doorway in a professional manner.

David got up, wiping a single tear that was ready to fall down his cheek. He walked out to meet them in the hallway.

"This is Tim Dillon, Amanda's brother." Jake introduced the two men and they shook hands.

"How much do you know about your sister's condition?" David asked Tim

"He knows everything up until this last episode."

"Right after she gave birth she went into pulmonary edema, which essentially means her lungs filled with fluid and it was making it impossible for her to breathe. She's on a ventilator which is helping her to breathe. The condition she had is causing her heart to work too hard and in turn its' shutting down. Congestive Heart Failure is what it's commonly known as." As he explained it all to her brother, it felt all the more real. He tried his best to keep his emotions in check, but it seemed to be a losing battle.

"And what do we do for this?" Tim asked. He hadn't been close to his sister in nearly 7 years and now he regretted that. His sister was seemingly facing death and he decides to show up now.

"There are a couple options." Jake started. "One is we wait and see if the heart fixes itself. Use various medications to help it out. Two is to implant a device that will hopefully help the reversal of the damage by taking the work load off of the heart and promoting normal functions. And the last would be an experimental surgery to repair the damaged portion."

"And if none of those works?" Tim asked, needing to know fully what his sister was up against.

"And the worst cast scenario, if there is no reversal, would be waiting for a transplant." David added. He needed to remind himself of the seriousness of this all. Remind him he had to do everything he could.

"Did you call me here because you want me to the one to make the decision?"He questioned the two doctors.

"It's not quite that simple. Dr. Hayward here actually has power of attorney. The problem is he's too close to make the sole decision because he is also her cardiologist." Jake explained.

"And I'm in love with your sister. I love Amanda."

"You're in love with my sister?"

"Yes. And I don't feel comfortable making this decision."

"Why don't you just get another doctor?"

"Because he's one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons in the world. Not to mention that this condition is extremely rare and he's seen a fair amount of cases like your sisters." Jake hated to praise David but when it came to his professional medical skills he was one hell of a surgeon.

"This is just so much to process right now. can I have a few minutes with my sister?"

"Sure. We do need to start with a treatment option as soon as possible though."

"I know. I think I just need to see her first. Make sure I'm doing the right thing." Tim contemplated as he went in to sit with his sister.

"Do you want to go see her?"

"You don't have to do that Jake."

"I know that you love my daughter too. And she's part of Amanda. Come on"

* * *

Both men walked into the NICU, stopping next to what said baby girl Dillon on it. David saw so much of Amanda in that little girl as he caught a closer glimpse of her.

"Dr. Martin." one of the nurses said quietly "is there a name for her yet? The birth certificate needs to be filled out soon."

"How long can we wait? I mean her mother needs tobe able to agree on the name. Right now that's not possible.

"Natalie" David said in a barely audible tone.

"What was that?" Jake asked having heard something but not quite sure.

"Amanda wanted to name her Natalie, after her aunt."

"Natalie. Natalie. I like it."

"She got tired of saying her and she, so she decided to give her a real name. Her aunt pretty much raised her when she was young. She thought it seemed appropriate."

"It's perfect. Thanks."

"So is she okay? I mean she was a preemie."

"She's doing great. 7 pounds 3 ounces. Her lung function is perfect apgar was a 10."

"Wow that is great."

"Do you want to hold her?"

"I…I"

"David it's fine. I have to accept that you're going to be in her life. That you're going to be raising her with Amanda. You should hold her."

"She's so beautiful. Just like her mother. No offense."

"None taken. I'm glad she doesn't have this mug."

He was so taken aback by her. She had no idea that her mother was fighting to get to her. He hoped she would somehow know how much her mother loved her. That maybe she could feel it.

"I think I should get back down there, see if Tim decided yet."

"I can come with you." Jake offered

"No. Stay here and spend time with her."

"You take care of her, David. Don't let my daughter grow up without a mother."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

David knocked softly on the door. "Tim." He was holding his sisters hand and it sound as if he were talking to her.

"Oh, Dr. Hayward."

"Call me David. Do you want more time with your sister?"

"I want the rest of our lives but it seems as though someone doesn't want that to happen."

"Did you think about the options we discussed?"

"If this were another patient, what would you tell them is their best option?"

"I'd say that fixing it would give her the best chance. But there is also a risk. A fifty percent survival rate. The safest option would be to use medication and wait but the thing about this condition is that she could go from stable to critical at any time."

"That doesn't help at all. Thanks."

"There is no easy answer."

"If we try medication, how long should it take until we know if it's working?"

"It could be any length of time. But I wouldn't wait any longer than two weeks. If there wasn't any improvement or very little I would suggest trying a different course of action."

"We could always decide to try something else right? If I, we decide this isn't working."

"Yes surgery is always an option."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Can you save my sister?"

"I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. Especially since I'm having a hard time convincing myself that I can. I was put into this position before, operating on my wife and child was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"What happened?"

"I completed a successful surgery, but not before I almost lost them both. My daughter had to have another surgery. She died on the table. And I blame myself. Not because I was there but because I wasn't."

"Is there a reason you're telling me all of this?"

"It's the reason I can't convince myself that she's just another patient. I would usually tell you that yes, I can save your sister. I'd be a cocky bastard and tell you I'm the only one that could. But this isn't just any other patient. It's the woman I love. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. If I had to tell her daughter that it's my fault she never got know her mother, I don't think I could live with myself."

There was a long pause, Tim not wanting to sound insincere. "Let's try medication first. We could bring in another specialist if we need."

"Um I actually have one on standby. Dr. Michael Bryant from New York. He's apprised of everything and if he's needed for surgery, he'll be here."

"Why doesn't he just do the surgery?"

"This technique, the one used to repair the heart is experimental. His survival rate is less than 25 percent. That's why he's a backup plan."

"So what you're saying is that either she gets a second rate surgeon or a first rate surgeon with a personal attachment to the patient?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"Do you mind if I speak with Dr. Martin?"

"By all means. A second opinion is always best. Shall I start the treatment awhile?"

"Yes, please do. And pray that it works."

"I will." David said as Tim walked out through the doorway. He wrote the orders on her chart. It made him sick to think of all the medications he had to put her on, almost 10. No healthy 26-year old mother should have to go through this. She laid there, seemingly peaceful. The nurses had come by and given her the meds he ordered. It was just the two of them now. He crawled in the bed beside her, his arm around her and his face in the hair at her neck. He spoke to her softly. "Your little girl, Natalie, wants to see you. She needs you babe. So do me a favor and fight to get to back to her. You know I'm selfish so come back to me too. Mandy please."

In the meantime Tim had walked back by the room and watched most of the scene. It seemed to give him a new perspective on David Hayward. David Hayward had always been someone you weren't supposed to like, at least that's what everyone in town told him before. For some reason he got the feeling he wasn't such a bad guy. It was obvious he felt something for his sister. It wasn't everyday a monster did something so sincere. This was not the same David Hayward he had known of. This was a man who loved his sister. He was grateful that she seemed to have two men in her corner because he hasn't been a good big brother.

"You wanted to see me?" Jake asked from behind Tim, noticing what Time was watching. They both moved down the hall and continued the conversation.

"I was going to ask you your opinion on all of this. That man can't handle all of this and I can see why."

"What did he say to you?"

"Alot. I came here thinking he was the same arrogant jerk of a doctor I remembered him to be. It turns out he been dished hell, twice. He basically broke down and told me he couldn't do this surgery if he wanted to. "

"What do you mean?"

"He has all of his marbles in this basket and he could be the one to knock them all over the place and he doesn't want to risk it. He might be the only one that can save her and he can even bring himself to try."

"And you want another opinion? Another doctor?"

"That's the thing, he's already got that. He just doesn't think this guy can do it either. What would you do Dr. Martin?"

"It's Jake, and I just have to believe that she's going to pull through this, no matter what. She's gone through a lot these past few years. First, with your mom and the whole explosion, kidnapping and then she finds out about your dad."

"I'm such a jerk. I didn't even come back to spend some time with her. I completely ignored the fact that she was grieving two parents at the same time."

"And then she found out she was pregnant. She was so confused, scared that she wouldn't be a good mother. I mean she didn't have the best example to learn from. She even contemplated giving her child up for adoption."

"Why didn't she? What made her change her mind?"

"I'm not exactly sure. I wasn't exactly thrilled that she was going to give our child away when I wanted to raise her. I did some things I'm not proud of and it made it worse when I found out about her and David. I threatened to take Natalie from her and actually got temporary custody last month."

"Wow, poor Mandy. I'm glad you're here for her now. I know she'd be happy you're looking after Natalie. Natalie? You named her Natalie?"

"Actually Amanda named her that. I was talking with David and he mentioned that Amanda decided to name her daughter Natalie. Natalie was your mom?"

"Yeah." He said smiling. The thought of his sister picking that name for his niece was a wonderful thought.

"So all this shit Amanda's been through, it's made her stronger. She's fought too hard to give up now and we both know she won't." Jake made point.

"You're right. There's no way she's going to give up on Natalie. I think someone should tell him that though."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

It had been nearly a week since they had started her on the medications that were supposed to be the cure. Her condition had improved, but it wasn't nearly what it should be if it were going to be the end all to this disease.

He must have went through her chart a thousand times, hoping what he read would somehow be different than the last time he checked. Every time it said the same thing, ejection fraction: 38 percent. B.P. 145/90. It wasn't getting any better but the fact that she hadn't deteriorated was a good sign.

"David" Jake called from the doorway. He heard the sound but not the word, he was in another place, somewhere else, somewhere better.

"What Jake?" He asked dryly after turning to see who was bothering him.

"I'm sorry, I'll just come back later."

"No. Stay. What did you want?"

"I just wanted to ask you if you needed anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

"When's the last time you got some sleep? Ate?"

"What if I told you I don't know?"

"Then I might recommend that you get some sleep and something to eat."

"And I would tell you that's impossible."

"You really should. What happens if she needs you? You'll be too busy passed out on the floor to do anything."

"If you're going to be a condescending jerk you can just get out now."

"Why don't you at least go get some air or some coffee or something. Take a walk, clear your head."

"I could use some air."

"Go get out of here. I'll stay here."

"Thanks Jake. You'll page me if there's any change?" he asked and Jake nodded.

He walked through the halls of the hospital, his mind following and his feet leading. It wasn't until he walked into a nurse. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Are you okay?" He quickly asked for the fact he nearly knocked her on the floor.

"I'm fine Dr. Hayward. Are you here to see her?" The woman asked

It didn't hit him at first as to who she was referring to when he saw NICU on the door across the hall. She had been talking about Natalie. He had subconsciously walked to the NICU.

"Yes, is it okay if I go in and see her?" he recovered.

"Sure. I actually think it's her feeding time."

"I can come back later then."

"She should have someone she knows feed her. And I honk it might be good for you too." She said with a smile. Most of the personnel, doctors and nurses had known aboub Amanda and their Chief of Staffs dedication to her bedside. He agreed and she took him in the room. He sat down and she placed her in his arms. After a minute or so the nurse returned with a small bottle and she handed it to him. She left them alone.

"Hi Natalie. He said softly. He wanted to introduce himself to her, but he realized he didn't know what he was to her. He felt like her father or at least like a father. But he wasn't. He and Amanda were only considered a couple. They weren't engaged or married so it felt as though he was nothing to this little girl by society's standards. He chose to leave well enough alone and just talk to her. "I'm sorry I'm not your mom. She should be here with you, feeding you. Instead, you're stuck with me and nurses and your daddy sometimes. I'm sure you wonder why your mommy isn't here for you and I'm going to tell you I'm sorry. I'm the reason she's not here with you. I was supposed to protect her and I didn't. So she's lying in a bed just like yours on a different floor. I know you need her and she needs you. I promise I'm going to make this up to you. I'll make sure she comes back to you. She loves you and I don't want you to ever forget that." Her eyes drifted shut as she continued to drink the bottle. "I love your mother. In fact I've been carrying around this ring for almost a month." He told her, searching his pocket for the box that was in it. He finally found it and pulled it out, opening the box. It was a 3 carat princess cut diamond. "I've tried so many times to pull this out and ask your mother to marry me. I couldn't find the right words or the right moment and now it might never happen." He wiped a tear or two from his eyes. "She's going to get better and we're going to be a happy family, me, you, your mommy, and your daddy." He half laughed at that. He just included Jake in their family. Who was he to not include that child's father in her family, when right now he was all she had.

She looked just like her mother when she slept. Peaceful, beautiful and content and it made him tear up. Watching this little girl sleep while her mother fought for life in the same hospital was almost painful. He could do something about it. He just hadn't yet found a way to put aside his emotions and be the professional Amanda needed him to be. Spending this time with Natalie helped him garner his strength. He now had a plan. Dr. Bryant was going to assist him. If he felt the need to step back, Dr. Bryant could step in. Why didn't he think of it before?

He laid the baby down in her crib after giving her a kiss on the head. It was both an 'I love you kiss' and a 'thank you kiss'. He loved that she was a part of her mother and that by association he had to love her too. He couldn't wait until he saw Amanda hold her little girl in her arms and he was going to make sure that was going to happen. An innocent child had given him hope, strength and courage. Children were a miracle.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

He had found Tim now sitting with Amanda. That was good, he was looking for Tim. He wanted to tell him that if he wanted her to have that corrective surgery, that he was ready to do it.

"Hey." he greeted Tim when he walked in the room to the opposite site or her bed from him.

"Hey David. Did you get any rest? Jake told me you've been here every minute since she was brought in."

"I can't sleep. I've tried. I fell asleep a few times but it only lasts for minutes. I did however just have a very refreshing conversation with your niece." He smiled

"You and Natalie? What did she say?" He mused

"She told me I have to get over my fears and do what I need to do. To make her mommy better."

"She said all that?"

"She's full of wisdom and grace, like her mother."

"I feel awful that I haven't gotten to know my sister since she was just a kid. I feel like I don't even know her. You seem to know everything about her."

"I don't know everything. There is so much more to learn and knowing I might never get the chance to know everything. 9 months is way to short a time to get to know someone and I spent weeks away, weeks I could have been listening, learning."

"Maybe we can both learn. You say you have this new attitude. Does this mean you want to do the surgery?"

"If you think we should go ahead with the surgery, I think, noI know that I can do it."

"I take it the medication route is working like it should be?"

"No. Not as well as we hoped it would. This surgery is her best chance for recovery now."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning. Dr. Bryant is flying in tonight. And I think I need to try and get some sleep before the surgery."

"Please do. If anything happens to my sister. I'll kill you." Tim said harsh and quiet and then returning to the small smile he had on a few moments ago.

"I'm going to save her. If it's the last thong I do in my career."

"thank you David. For loving my sister like you do, and for being there for her. Especially when she's had another mans' child. A lot of guys wouldn't do that."

"I love your sister. There is something I want you to have." David said, pulling the ring out of his pocket. "I want you to keep this for when she wakes up. If you feel I'm worthy to marry your sister, you'll give it to her and if not, well then I guess I have to move on."

Tim didn't know what to say. He just hoped that this man, the one he seemed to see loved her could and would save her. If his sister told him she loved this man who was he to deny them.

"You do this, you save my sister, and she tells me this is what she wants, who am I to tell her she shouldn't be with a man that loves her unconditionally and saved her life?" Tim said knowing his sister would agree without hesitation. He wouldn't be here, talking to David if his sister didn't feel the way she did.

"I'm going to get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning before the surgery. Do you think you could stay with her tonight?"

"I'll stay with her. As long as you promise her daughter will be in her arms soon."

"I swear I'll do what I can to make that happen Tim." he told her brother, kissing her as hard and meaningful as he could. He needed that to get him through this. To remind him of what he could lose if he did something to jeopardize her life. God he loved her. He had to save her or he'd have to die too.

Jake stood next to her incubator reading her chart. His daughter was ready to be discharged. Only her mother wasn't. That meant until she could, he'd have to be mother and father. He didn't look forward to raising his daughter alone her mother and step-father were going to raise her and that didn't anger him. He thought it was best she have a stable home. Even if that meant David Hayward was part of her life. She would always know who her daddy was no matter what. And although he knew who David was, he knew that David accepted Jake was her father. The fact was that if her mom died, he could keep her from David. He'd be the only father she knew. But if Amanda pulled through, she would raise their daughter right and he would be in her life.

He was on the last page of Natalie s medical chart when he saw it. It didn't make any sense. She had an AB positive blood type. He was O negative. They had to have made a mistake in the blood work. If they didn't hat meant he couldn't be her father and he was. He was her father no matter what.

"Nurse. I need to get a blood typing done. I need a rush on it. The lab made a mistake."

"Yes Dr. Martin. I'll take a sample and get it to the lab as soon as possible." The nurse told him.

"You watch it the whole time. Make sure t doesn't leave your site."

"Yes Dr. Martin." the nurse assured him.

He went back to his daughter and he picked her up. "It's okay baby girl. Daddy's gonna fix the mistake. I'm your daddy and you're my little girl." He said softly holding her close.

David was laying a couch in his office when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in."

The door opened and Kendall walked in. "David?" She called, unable to see his form in the dark.

"Yeah I'm here." He said, getting up to turn on the lights.

"Hey." She said moving to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I sat with her for a little bit. Tim came in and he said something about surgery?"

"Yeah I was up here trying to get some rest before the surgery. I'm going to be repairing Amanda's heart tomorrow morning."

"Oh my god David. You're doing the surgery?" Kendall asked, completely caught off guard.

"I have to. I'm the best one for the job. The only one who s had success for the procedure.

And you re okay with doing the surgery?

I have another specialist coming from New York to assist me, but yeah I have to be. I can t tell myself otherwise.

This is going to work though, isn t it? She asked hesitantly, hoping for the best.

If I don t screw it up, yes. When done correctly there is an 90 percent chance for functioning recovery and a more than 50 percent chance of full recovery. Those odds are good right? I mean it s her best chance?

Other than a transplant, corrective surgery is the best shot at recovery.

She moved toward him and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. You bring her back to us David. She told him, not letting go until he she knew that he silently agreed to do just that. 


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

He just stood looking at the papers he was holding. The results were the same as the ones before. He couldn't possibly be Natalie's father. The only way to know for sure would be a DNA test. He had to know now, before the surgery, before it was too late to make things right. He was going to find out now and he would do it himself. Simple freshman biology, DNA seperation via gel electrophoresis. He made his way to the lab and started the testing.

By now Tim, Kendall and a few others had taken some time with Amanda before the surgery. Now it was David's turn. What if it was the last time he ever got to see her, touch her, talk to her. It made it ten times worse that he was talking to her now, before he cut her open and had her heart in his hands. But there was no way he could live with himself if he didn't see her, tell her that he would save her.

Tim waited outside of Amanda's room for David. He knew he would be by before the surgery.

"Hey David. I wanted to thank you for doing this." Tim told him.

"Don't thank me yet."

"I was waiting for you. I figured you'd come by here before the surgery."

"Is there something I can do for you Tim?"

"I just wanted to wish you luck and tell you I'll be waiting right here."

"I don't need any luck, in fact I won't be using luck in there but my own skill and expertise. At least that's what I tell myself. But thanks anyway." He said to Tim and patted him on the shoulder before walking in the room.

"Hey Mandy, it's David. The surgery is in a few minutes baby, and I just wanted let you know, that you're my life. You're my life and I swear I'm going to pull you through this. I'm going to fix your heart and you're going to get better and open your eyes. As soon as you wake up, I'm going to put your little girl in your arms. I know you'll want to see her and hold her and I'm going to make sure I can do that for you." He said tearing up at his own words. He hated doing this, talking to her without a response. He wanted so badly for her to wake up and tell him that he talks to much, tell him to shut the hell up. "I actually slept some last night." He half laughed. "I did have to drug myself into it though. I would never have been able to fall asleep with it. All I could think about is how I'm doing a surgery and not just any surgery. It's an experimental surgery, one I've only done a few times and now, now you're going to be my patient. I'll be honest I'm scared. More so than I've ever been. Scared that I'm going to fail you, just like I did Leora. And I don't know how I could live with myself knowing that I've failed not one, but two people I love." A few tears fell now and he wiped them away with his sleeve. "See now you've got me crying. I swore I wouldn't shed a tear. That I'd be strong. But it's so hard you know? Okay I have to be going now. I want to get this thing over with and get you better. Three weeks has been long enough, it's time to end this. I'll see you in a few minutes baby." He continued and kissed the hand he was holding and then her forehead. God he wished he could kiss her lips and that she would be kissing him back. It was going to happen he told himself as he parted from her and slowly backed out of the room.

He had a hard time believing his eyes. His DNA didn't match that of his daughter's. He thought maybe it had been a long time since he did this last. Maybe he did it wrong. Maybe he should get a second one done, by a lab tech this time. He tried to tell himself in so many ways that this wasn't true. How could she not be his? Was she David's? How could that be? He had been gone for weeks, and he was sure Amanda hadn't been sleeping with anyone else while they were together. Had she slept with David before he left town? It would make sense that the baby was actually older than thought. She was a very healthy preemie. She weighed more than a normal preemie of her gestational age and her lungs were fully developed. Should he run a DNA test on the two of them. Make sure before he told them. _Tell them, oh shit_. He thought about it for a few seconds. He had to tell Amanda at least, only he couldn't yet, not until she woke up. _Should I tell David?_ This wasn't going to be easy no matter what he did. The surgery was, he looked at his watch, in ten minutes. Should David know before he puts everything on the line? Should he know that he is possibly operating on his child's mother? Maybe that would make him too emotional and that could be dangerous for Amanda. He thought he would let fate handle it. He was going to find David. If the surgery was already started than it meant he isn't supposed to know before, but if it hadn't started yet, he was supposed to know before she went under the knife. _Time to find out_. He said aloud, leaving the lab and making his way for the OR.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

He had walked to OR #2. He'd asked if the surgery had been underway, and it had been, for almost 20 minutes. Apparently he wasn't supposed to tell David before the surgery. Now the question was should he tell David or should he wait and tell Amanda. What if he couldn't tell her for days, months or heaven forbid, never? This was a painful secret to keep to himself. Had he thought about keeping this secret forever? Yes. Had he contemplated forgetting he even knew? Yes. But he couldn't stand looking at Natalie and telling himself he was doing the right thing. He couldn't tell her a lie for the rest of her life. He had to do this no matter how hard it was. He knew the surgery would be a few hours. He figured he'd take Natalie home for a little bit. Be paged when the surgery was over and he could bring her back, and tell the secret later. Hopefully when things were better.

Kendall and Zach were sitting in the surgical waiting area for all but a few minutes, while Tim sat in her room, in her bed during the surgery. They all awaited any news that would be given, which was few and far between. After about 3 hours, a nurse came by and told both Zach and Kendall and Tim that so far the surgery was going well. What the nurse failed to mention was the fact that the surgeon had to stop and compose himself numerous times. It was okay though. It wasn't as if he working alone. He had help. It just got to him every once and a while.

The surgery lasted for a little over 8 hours. Overall, everyone had considered it a successful surgery. The only problem was, this was a wait and see kind of thing. If there was improvement within 48, then and only then could it be filed as one in the medical journal. David made his way out with Amanda and the orderly's who were taking her back to her room. He stopped to tell Zach and Kendall and update them and then he continued along side. When they reached Amanda's room he informed Tim and Tim hugged him without warning. He told Tim that this wasn't over, that nothing was set in stone and this could have all been for nothing. Tim hadn't really cared. He had this feeling that everything was going to be okay. And it had to be, right? All of this for nothing? Was the world really that cruel?

"You're welcome to stay in the room, but I'm not leaving for at least the next 48 hours." David told Tim who wasn't really listening. He was busy staring at his sister. Waiting for her to wake up. Like it was going to be any second and he didn't want to miss it.

"Okay. Thanks." Tim replied, almost trance-like. David sitting in a chair and pulling it as close to the bed as possible and holding her hand after making a few notes in the chart and giving some nurses orders.

Before taking a seat in his own chair, Tim walked over to David and held out his hand. "Here." He said holding out his hand and waiting for David to reach out as well.

"What is it?" David asked, only half paying attention

"Your ring." He said putting it in David's hand once he finally put it out.

"I thought...don't you want to talk with her first? I thought that's what we said?" David asked, not sure what Tim meant.

"I know she's going to wake up soon and I know she'll want that ring. I think you should be the one to give it to her." Tim said, still keeping an eye on his sister.

"Are you sure?" David asked.

"You've done so much for my sister, including an 8 hour surgery that I'm sure scared the hell out of you. And now, I'm sure you saved her life. So it's my pleasure to call you brother." Tim said holding out a hand, this time to shake David's hand.

"Thank you Tim. This means a lot. Usually I wouldn't be one to get approval for something I want, but for some reason I felt I needed to be accepted. Like I didn't feel worthy. And I have to say, I think it's your sister that changed that for me. I know you probably weren't too thrilled at the fact that I'm old enough to be her father, and maybe that's why I needed this approval. Because I felt like this was wrong on some level. I don't know. This probably sounds stupid to you. I'm sorry."

"No, that's alright. You don't have to explain it to me. You look exhausted." Tim told David.

"Yeah I am, but I can't leave."

"I understand. It's okay if you fall asleep. I'll wake you up if something happens."

"Thanks, that's good to know."

The two men sat by her bed side for hours. They both fell asleep after almost 6 hours of waiting. Not long after that is when she began to wake up. She wasn't able to speak, but she felt something holding her hand. When she looked down at his sleeping form, she knew exactly who it was. She squeezed his hand to wake him. It was all she could think to do at the moment.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

It took a few seconds for David to notice her hand and for him to wake up. He gave Tim instructions to go get a nurse and to call Jake and he did. David did his best to quickly explain what was going on and what he was going to do. The nurse came in and helped David take out the breathing tube and order a few tests. After that he sat back down and he just stared at her.

"Where is she?" She asked, her voice low and rough.

"She's fine. She's with Jake."

"I want to see her. Hold her."

"I know you do. Tim is calling him right now and he's going to bring her here."

"Tim?"

"Yes your brother's here." He said with a smile and pushed her behind her ear.

"Hey sis." Tim said as he walked in the room. Amanda had tears in her eyes. She hadn't seen her brother in over 6 years. "It's nice of me to show up huh?"

She put her arms out and he moved to her and they hugged, him kissing her cheek. "Better late than never." She said.

"Why don't we get those tests done now, before Natalie gets here." David hesitantly interrupted.

"Natalie?" She asked, almost forgetting she had picked the name.

"I told Jake that you planned on naming her tbat. He had that put on the birth certificate. I hope that's okay?" She couldn't even get the words out so she nodded yes. "Tim why don't you go with Amanda for testing. You guys should catch up."

"You should be going with her David." He told them.

"I have some paperwork to do and I'm going to wait for Jake. She hasn't seen you in years. Go, catch up."

"If you're sure?" Tim asked, looking for confirmation.

"Is it alright if Tim goes with you?" He asked wanting her to say she wanted him with her, but at the same time not.

"As long as you're with me when I come back."

"I will." He said, bending over and kissing her. "I promise your daughter will be here when you get back." He told her, this time she kissed him, as a thank you.

Tim and Amanda left for the testing and David almost fell into the chair he had occupied most of the last few weeks. She was awake and the surgery was seemingly a sucess, at least it appeared to be. Than why was he so afraid? He had prayed and prayed that this would happen. That everything would work out and it was. Why couldn't he be happy? Maybe it was because he thought that this could happen again, because it could. The repair could give out, it may have only been a temporary thing. He couldn't know for sure until the latest tests came back. Even then nothing was guaranteed. Maybe he was just paranoid, afraid that he wasn't supposed to be happy. But hadn't he suffered enough? Hadn't she suffered enough? Even her daughter had suffered. Could this be happily ever after? He only saw that happen to other people, not him.

He didn't have any more time to sit and think and for that he was grateful. "Where is she?" Jake asked, holding the sleeping baby in his arms.

"Testing. I could only get her to go because she knew her daughter would be waiting for her." He told him, smiling at the site of a sleeping Natalie.

"Why aren't you with her?" He asked, slowly moving back and forth.

"I sent Tim with her. I thought she could use some time with her brother. And I didn't want to lose it in front of her."

"What do you mean? Everything's okay isn't it?" Jake asked confused by his tone.

"Yes. That's the problem. Nothing is ever okay with me. I screw it up. Everytime."

"You really need to get over yourself, David. The world doesn't revolve around you. Now pull yourself together. She'll be coming back here and when she does, you're going to put her daughter in her arms. No mention of anything until you get the results and even then...You saved her life. She's going to be able to raise her daughter." Jake spoke loud enough that he made a point but quiet enough that he didn't wake the baby. What the hell had gotten into him? He keeps giving pep talks to David Hayward. A man he's hated and despised since the day he met him. Maybe he was doing it for Natalie. She deserves the best and if that means talking some sense into her father than maybe he could live with it. The man did just risk everything to save the woman he loves and he didn't even know what he could have lost. "Here. She likes it when you hold her against your chest. I think it's the sound of the heartbeat that comforts her." He told David as he handed the now stirring baby to him.

Amanda and Tim had caught up and he explained why he hadn't be around and why he was here, and that he was a jerk. He told her he was thinking of moving back to Pine Valley, for a while at least. He also told her about the events surrounding the past few weeks. It was alot for her to take in but, she managed to be grateful that she was alive. It wasn't making it any easier knowing that her daughter was waiting to really meet her for the first time. She could barely manage to remember the image she saw of her daughter when she was born.

"So I have to tell you that I knew David, from before. Back when I donated my liver to Enzo." He started. She almost didn't want to hear this. She was probably going to tell her how bad a guy he was and that she should get away from him. "He was not a nice guy. And then I show up here and I find out that you two were involved. Let's just say I wasn't thrilled about it and I probably said some things I shouldn't have."

"Why am I not surprised?" She said, waiting for the part where he chastises her.

"But, then I saw how he was with you. He showed me how much he loved you. I mean it took all he had to do the surgery without completely breaking down and chickening out." He told her honestly. She was almost crying. Her brother's words of praise were almost too good to be true. She had never expected anyone, especially family to approve of her relationship with David Hayward. "Hey sis, don't cry. He's totally got it bad for you. And you obviously have it bad for him too." He told her while wiping a tear or two from her face.

"I love him, Tim."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Tim and Amanda talked for a few more minutes, although it seemed like hours. It had taken less than a hour for the all of the tests to be completed, which was fast considering there were quite a few of them. She wasn't surprised though, David was Chief of Staff. She couldn't have been more excited if she had just won the lottery than she was when she got back to her room and she saw who was waiting for her. Tim stayed for a few minutes, wanting to see his sister and niece with each other but he wanted to give them some time together, as a family.

"You ready to hold her?" David asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes." She said full of anticipation and excitement.

"Alright, here she is." He said, placing the sleeping baby in her waiting arms.

"Hi baby girl. It's mommy." She said to her daughter, her right hand caressing the baby's cheek. "I know it's been a while since we last saw each other but I promise it won't ever happen again." She vowed, kissing Natalie's forehead. "She's okay?" She asked David.

"She's perfect." David said, smiling. Amanda started tearing up almost immediately.

"Hey, what's the matter? She's fine."

"It's not that. I just can't believe that she's finally here and I'm holding her in my arms. I can't believe I thought I didn't want her. That I couldn't be a mother to her. And now, I'd do anything for her. I've only known her for a few minutes and she means the world to me."

"You should see Jake with her. He loves her too and he's been with her almost all day, everyday since she was born."

"Jake. I almost forgot about Jake. Where is he?"

"I think he just went to get some coffee or something. He didn't sleep much more than I did these past few weeks."

"I feel so bad for what I put you two through. For what I put everyone through."

"Hey! Don't you dare blame yourself for this. You had no control over what happened, so don't even think for a second that you did, okay?" He told her , his hand on her cheek, holding her head so that she was looking into his eyes.

"Okay." She agreed.

"You need to stop thinking about what happened and focus on the future. Focus on her." He said, looking at Natalie sleeping in her arms.

"And you? Us?"

"If there still is an us."

"Of course there is an us. For being a brilliant surgeon, you are one stupid man."

"Well thanks."

There was a knock at the door and Jake walked into the room a few steps. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, come in Jake." Amanda said looking at Jake and then back at her daughter who was still sleeping.

"I'm glad your doing better. How you feeling?"

"Amazing. I've got our little girl in my arms." She said looking at her daughter and then over to David. She knew it had to be awkward for David. Afterall she was holding her and Jake's daughter and that had to be hard for him.

"She's pretty amazing isn't she?" Jake asked as he stood beside Amanda and his hand on Natalie's hand.

"Thanks for taking care of her Jake, for being there for her."

"There's no need to thank me. It was my job. There is something I want to talk to you about though."

"What is it? Is it something about Natalie? She's okay?"

"No she's fine. David would you mind giving us a few minutes? I promise it won't be too long."

David was hesitant to leave the room but he agreed, "Yeah I have to go over her latest test results anyway." He kissed her before he left the room.

"What's so important that you couldn't say it in front of David?"

"It's not that I don't want him to know, but I just thought you should hear it first. I think it'd be better if he hear it from you."

"Jake what is it?"

"Yesterday I was going through Natalie's chart. I saw something on it that had me concerned."

"Jake you're really starting to scare me. You told me everyhing was okay with her."

"She's fine. It was her blood type that didn't make any sense."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's AB positive, I'm O negative."

"Just spit it out, Jake." She said, full of fear and anticipation of what he was saying.

"I'm not Natalie's father."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

"What do you mean your not Natalie's father?"

"I ran a DNA test. I'm not Natalie's father."

"If you aren't her father, than that means that..."

"That David is?" He finished for her.

"All this time, we thought, I thought you were her father."

"Yeah me too."

"Oh Jake I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you."

"You have no idea."

"I promise you can see her whenever want."

"Thanks but I don't know if I can do that. It might make it worse to keep seeing her."

"Whatever you need Jake. I know that I shouldn't ask this, but do you think you could go get David?"

"I can do that. It's time she meets her daddy." Jake said, trying to part with who was supposed to be his daughter. He walked out into the hall motioned for David, that he was wanted by Amanda.

"Jake said that you wanted to see me Amanda."

"David, there is something you need to know."

"Well I have some great news Mandy. Your test results indicate recovery. Your ejection fraction is almsot 40%."

"David, shut up! I was trying to tell you something."

"I'm sorry, I just thought you'd want to know that things are as good as we could have hoped."

"That's great, now listen to what I'm saying."

"Alright I'm listening."

"Here, you take her." She said, placing who was now 'thier' daughter in his arms.

"You're okay?"

"Yes. David, Jake told me something. Something you need to know."

"He doesn't want me anywhere near her, right? That's why you're letting me hold her, because this is the last time?"

She shook her head. Why was it always so hard to get things through to him? If only he would listen. "David, Natalie is your daughter. She's our daughter."

"I know. I told you before that I don't care about DNA. Natalie is as much a part of me as she is Jake."

"Jake did a DNA test. He isn't her father. You are." She said looking him and then Natalie an back to him. He couldn't form any words at the moment. He was too busy taking in the sight of who he now knew to be his daughter. This wasn't the first time he'd look into an infants' face, only to see himself. What little hair she had was as dark as his. She had Amanda's eyes and her smile he noticed but she had his lips. "David?"

"She's ours?" He half asked, half said.

"Yeah. She's ours." Amanda answered, both of them shedding tears. "I still don't know how this can be. I mean I know how but..."

"We used protection. Not to mention Dr. Greene said that you were only 6 weeks. It does make sense now though. When the nurse told Jake and I Natalie's weight, we both said how big she was for a preemie."

"Jake knew she was yours when he found out he wasn't, but he didn't know what happened between us the day you left."

"Let's not think about the past. She's ours and I think we should focus on that. I remember when you told me that you wished that she was mine, right after you found out you were pregnant. Well it may have taken a while for us to find out, but our wish came true."

"Here, you should hold her some more. She's gone way to long without her mom." He said holding out Natalie and putting her back in Amanda's arms. He then crawled into the bed next to her, his arm around both of them.

"But all this time, she's gone without her dad."

"I've been here all along."

"You did it, didn't you? And she said yes right?" Tim said, now standing in the room, observing the happy little family. He told David she'd say yes. Why would he think she wouldn't? David was confused at first but it hit him. Tim thought that they were so happy because he had proposed and she had said yes. David quickly motioned with his head, as if Tim could read 'Shut up Tim you're going to ruin it' on his face.

"Tim, you already knew?" Amanda asked, confused at how Tim knew that Natalie was David's. At least that was what she thought he was talking about.

"Of course I knew. David told me I was supposed to ask you if you wanted to marry him, if I thought he was good enough for you, but I told him he should do it. I told him you'd say yes.

"Uh Tim, I didn't get to that yet." David painfully admitted.

"Wait a minute. You were going to propose?" Amanda asked David.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry man. I thought that's why you guys were so happy."

"Well it wasn't. And yes Mandy I was going to ask you to be my wife, but someone kind of ruined it."

"Yes."

"Yes? I didn't ask you yet."

"You don't have to. It's a yes. Where's the ring?"

"This isn't what I had in mind."

"None of what we have was what we had in mind, but we love each other and our little girl and that's all that matters. Who cares if your proposal wasn't the most romantic. I love you and I want to be your wife and that's all that matters."

It was so true. He kissed her for as long as he could, moving into the bed with them.

"I told you David." Tim said, referring to their previous conversation. "Can I ask what you guys were talking about before I walked in and ruined everything?"

"We just found out that David is Natalie's father." She answered her brother's question.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

It had been two weeks since the surgery, and almost seven weeks in the hospital. Today was the last.

"You ready to get out of here?" David asked Amanda as he walked into her room.

"Is the doctor ready to release me?"

"Do you want me to go get him? You could work your magic on him, convince him you're ready to go."

"And if that doesn't work, I could always go straight to the chief of staff. I have some pull with him too."

"I'm surprised you haven't been able to get out of here earlier, I mean with all of this pull you seem to have."

"It's my doctor. He keeps telling me I need rest, and blah, blah."

"Well maybe it's for a good reason? Did you ever think that maybe he knows what he's doing?"

"Yeah but does he know how hard it is to sleep, when your daughter is at home, alone with her father?"

"Hey now, I take offense to that."

"Nothing against you babe, it's just, I'm her mom and all I do is worry about her when I'm not with her." She reassured him putting her hand on his face.

"Well all of that is going to change because I'm springing you from this joint today, as long as your Ejection Fraction is holding at 40%."

"It better be, because I can't spend one more minute in this horrible place, no offense. I know you take great pride in your hospital."

"Your right, I do. Although I don't hold it against you. You had to spend way too much time getting to know this place."

"So much time that I wouldn't be surprised if you decided to name a wing after me."

"Oh you mean the new Amanda Dillon Cardiac Care Wing?" He said with a half smile.

"David."

"I just couldn't help myself. Do you know how much I charge for a surgery like yours?" She shook her head. He loved to crack jokes at her.

"So where's our baby girl?"

"She's with her aunt Kendall and uncle Zach. They should be here anytime now."

"I bet Kendall loves having a little girl around. She always talks about having a girl and now she has one she can spoil."

"The kid already has a entire new wardrobe and it's only been a couple of days." David told her and she laughed.

"Hey mom." Kendall said from the from the doorway holding Natalie in her arms.

"Are you hear to help mommy break out of here too?" Amanda said to her daughter as Kendall put Natalie in her arms.

"Thanks for watching her these last few days. I really appreciate it." David thanked Kendall and Zach who had just walked in.

"It's no problem at all. She's so adorable and the boys really love having her over." Kendall said, while cooing at the baby.

"You hear that Zach? Sounds like someone wants a little girl." Amanda tossed at a less than amused Zach Slater.

"All I have to say is that you better keep your boys in line Slater. If I catch them near my daughter..."

"Don't worry Hayward, my boys will be perfect gentlemen."

"Aww thats so cute. Daddy's protecting you from boys already." Amanda laughed

"There's no need protecting from my boys. They're a catch." Kendall proudly stated.

"We've got at least two, three years until we have to worry about that anyway. Hey you, can you go sign whatever papers so we can go home?"

"Yes. Yes. You three keep an eye on her. She's been trying to escape." David said teasingly to Kendall, Zach and Natalie before kissing his daughter and then Amanda before leaving. Zach had followed him out of the room.

"So when is the wedding?" Kendall asked, curious as to why no one had mentioned a wedding after hearing the story surrounding the proposal.

"We haven't set a date. I guess we figured we'd figure that out once we got home and got settled. Plus I think David sees walking down the eisle as strenuous activity."

"I guess it's your fault you fell for a cardiologist."

"He's yours too."

"Not to be all morbid, but I thought that maybe David would want to marry you as soon as possible. We all learned that we never have as much time as we think we do."

"You're right, we don't. But I think that if we got married right away, that it would feel like were doing it just in case, you know?"

"But isn't that what the two of you want? To be husband and wife?"

"We don't need some piece of paper to tell us how we feel about each other. I know I have the greatest guy in the world. He literally saved my life."

"It's no secret we've never been friends. In fact, I think you're an arrogant bastard. But I've seen you work miracles. You saved my wife's life and your wife's life. How can I ignore that? You're alright."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Just don't tell the rest of Pine Valley. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Secrets safe with me."

"So you're taking her home today?" Zach asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. I'd like for her to stay a few more days but I think she'd actually get up and walk out if she had to stay another day. Not to mention the fiance in me wants her home."

"I get that. If you two ever need some time, don't hesitate to give us a call. We'll be glad to watch Natalie."

"Thanks, Zach. We could watch the boys if you needed us too."

"That's a good one David. Ha ha. That's what nanny's are for."

"What? You don't think we could handle them?"

"The three of them? NO."

"Thanks for encouragement."

"I'm sure you'll be a good a dad, but three might be too much to handle."

"Heart surgery is so easy. Taking care of toddlers, now that's a different story."

"So true." Zach laughed. "I've got to know one thing? All this time spent on married women, women your age. And then you end up with twenty something Amanda Dillon."

"Jealous Slater?"

"I love my wife."

"Come on. Guy to guy. You want to know how I hooked hot young thing like Amanda? I have no idea. Just the way love works I guess."

"Yeah, I guess. Alright, go get Amanda and that baby of yours home. You deserve some family time."

"Thanks. I will."

"You ready?" David asked, wheeling in a wheelchair.

"I've been ready for the past two weeks!" Amanda said more than ready for the ride out of the hospital.

"As soon as you get in this chair we'll get out of here. Hospital policy."

"Don't think this is going home with us. I can walk."

"What makes you think I don't already have one at home?"

"That's not funny."

"She thought it was." He said, referring to the smile on Natalie's face.

"Let's just go home."

"Home it is."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

It was two weeks after Amanda was discharged from the hospital. They were finally ajusting to this new life. The one that they thought they had, turned out to be something completely different, but in a good way. In a few weeks, they had went from finally being together, to Amanda being sick, to him saving her life, to getting engaged and finding out the child David had come to love was really theirs. And now they were living together as a family.

"Natalie just fell asleep." David said walking into their bedroom, Amanda was reading a book.

"It seems like she's finally on a schedule. 8pm is bed time." Amanda added with a smile.

"So that means she'll be up at 1am right?" He said, joining her on the bed.

"Exactly. I guess I'll get up with her tonight." She said, putting the book she was holding down.

"No, that's my job." He told her.

"You shouldn't have to get up every night with her."

"I don't mind it. Besides, you need your sleep. Uniterrupted sleep."

"I'm not helpless David. I can take care of our daughter too. In fact, I want to."

"We're not arguing about this. Doctor's orders."

"Sometimes it sucks living with your doctor."

"I love you too." He said grinning, knowing she couldn't stay mad at him for doing his job, as both doctor and husband. "You took your meds right?"

"Yes, yes and yes. You know, you'd be so much cuter if you weren't always worried about my heart." She have joked, half said.

"Yeah, well I'm responsible for it, in more than one way." That was the truth. Both literally and figuratively.

"I know and I thank you for it. Everyday I think how lucky I am to be alive and to be spending the rest of my life with my wonderful, amazing husband and our beautiful daughter." She said with tears in her eyes and kissing him.

"I was honored to have the chance to give you a gift that I can rarely give someone I love. In fact, I prayed to God that he would give me the strength and courage. There have only been a few times in my life where I didn't think I was a god in the OR. That I was humbled enough to know that I was only human. They say to be a good surgeon you have to have a god complex, otherwise you will fail to do the impossible. Only when it's someone close to you is it that you fear making a mistake. It kind of feels nice, to know that you aren't invincible. That you are who you are because of the people you love and those who love you and not by the notches on your belt."

"Look, you're making me cry." She said, trying to wipe away the tears before they fell.

"I just wanted you to know how much all of this meant to me. That it was more than just another surgery, a procedure that I can claim to be my own. It made me realize who I am, and who I want to be. Not just a husband, but an amazing husband. You deserve everything I can give you, and if that means a new lease on life, or in your case, a repaired heart valve. Well then who am I to deny it." He felt like a sap. Lots of feelings and even a few tears from him. She had no idea what posessed him, David Hayward, one of the most reserved men when it came to feelings, was saying all the right things. She felt like this was some ending to a romance novel or chick flick. Not her fiance of all of 2 weeks. But she felt she gained a new insight into the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and she liked it.

"I know we've had a long road to get to this point, and I know that we've really only known each other for the past year. I know that you're almost twice my age and that pretty much everyone in this town disapproves of our relationship. I know that we first slept together out of grief over your daughter Babe's death and that we concieved a child without knowing until she was already here. I know there are so many things that went wrong along the way, but this feels right. You and our daughter are the only things that have made sense to me since my father died. What we have feels right, and this ring on my finger feels like it belongs there. You don't have to be brilliant surgeon and save my life for me to know that you love me, love us. I know that you do, because I can feel it, in my heart." She said, taking his hand and holding it against her chest, over her heart.

"You're so beautiful Mandy. How does a guy like me deserve an amazing woman like you?" He said his hands on either side of her face.

"Everyone deserves someone." He never thought in a million years he'd be this happy with someone. All the loss he'd suffered, he took to be punishment for his wrong doings over the years. But now he was happier than he ever thought possible and he wasn't going to let this moment go by without kissing her senseless. He laid her back gently, brushing the hair away from her face. They stared into each other's eyes for nearly two minutes before he moved down to kiss her. He pressed his lips to hers softly, a few times. "I love you." He said "I love you." She said back before putting her hands in his hair and pulling him in and kissing him back. They picked up the pace, from the slow one they had started. Hands were now moving. Neck, shoulders, chest. Amanda started unbuttoning his shirt, until he pulled away. "We can't." He said, processing what he just did.

Why was he stopping this, something so perfect. "David?"

"Amanda, we can't do this. Not yet. Trust me, I want to."

"You're being a doctor right now aren't you?"

"You know the rules. And I know them even better. No sexual activity until 8 weeks post-op."

"I'm fine, David. I'll be good."

"We can't risk it."

"Well can I at least do something for you?"

"No. I've already waited four months, I can wait four more weeks."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't have to."

"I'd do anything for you."

"I know." She smiled. "We'll just have to circle that date on the calendar."

"Already done." He smiled back.


End file.
